Letters

Dear True Blood,

Why did you have to get so weird?  I mean, first season was strange and all, but it was compelling.  Who can resist a regular girl falling for a vampire while also trying to dodge a serial killer out to get her?  Not this girl...I read the twilight books....I know vampires were totally in at the time.  But second and third season got a 'lil freaky.  Now, I'm dealing with not only vampires, but shapeshifters, fairys, werewolves, demonic witches, and panther shape-shifting orgies?  And wtf is with all the orgies???  For serious.  Now, in order to make up for the hour I spend watching your show, I have to spend the next day praying and bathing in holy water.  Who has time for that?  Not this girl.  Please get your act together before I cancel my HBO subscription....the massive amount of Christian guilt I feel over watching each week is certainly not worth the $15 I pay Insight every month.

Regards,

TLL

P.S....If the nakedness does continue....I may to see more shirtless Alcide.  But that's neither here nor there.



Dear J. Crew,

Why are you so expensive?  I would like to buy things from you, but I cannot because it seems silly to spend the same amount on a cardigan sweater as I do on my car payment.  Please adjust prices accordingly to I can be fashionable whilst still affording groceries.

Yours in fashion,

Taryn Leigh



Dear New Girl at the Office,

You seem nice and all, but I think you say "awesome" too much.  Are things really that awesome?  Was meeting me really THAT awesome?  Did the customer you just spoke with really deserve 5 "awesomes" in a 2 minute period of time?  I think not.  Perhaps I can recommend some synonyms that can work in the place of awesome: great!, amazing!, impressive!, well done!....OR.....you could just use the word less overall.  Because let's face it, there's really not that many "awesome" things about being at work.

Cordially,

Taryn L.



Dear Nicholasville Road,

Wtf is up with the traffic?  It is ridiculous considering we live in a relatively small college town.  And furthermore....to the drivers on Nicholasville Road....ummm, do your blinkers work?  Okay great, then use them and I will both A. let you over, B. not hit you, and C. not scream and curse at you from the safety of my own car.

All my best,

T