Sunday, July 31, 2011

Boy Meets Kitchen, Girl Meets Bling

So, you all remember this post, right?  The one where the boy had made this grand 'ol plan to cook me a fabulous meal to prove that he could a.) cook b.) cook something healthy, and c.) we'd both still be alive after the meal.  Well, the good news is that we are still alive after his attempt at cooking.  The bad news is that both a.) and b.) didn't quite happen. 

The night started out relatively promising...I had gotten home from work and grabbed a couple last minute things from the grocery store (i.e., wine) and then went on a quick run.  The boy came and chatted with me about the workday and plans for the weekend while I was getting ready, until ultimately getting kicked out to get started on this meal he had planned....I mean, it was 7:00 and I was HUNGRY!

About 20 minutes after I banished him to the kitchen, I was dressed and made my way downstairs to supervise help him in the kitchen.  I got about halfway down the steps as he was coming up to talk to me.  "Babe, we need to go out to eat" he said.  He assured me that dinner was not going to happen as he had "already messed it up".  Although I had heard more banging around in the kitchen than a marching band, I thought for sure that whatever he had made could be salvaged.  Here is what I found:

What you see here, dear readers, is his attempt at making "tomato juice" by pushing the tomato innards through a metal colander.  God love him.  Needless to say, that wasn't working.  I took a survey of the ingredients and offered to make something else and let him cook for me another night (with a different recipe that was more "first time cook friendly"), but he was insistent that we go out.  I was too hungry to argue and had already had my mind set on my food and wine being prepared and poured for me, so we headed to Malone's. 

What can I ain't his thing.  After two days of research, preparation, and grocery shopping, it only took 20 minutes for us to confirm what I already knew....I wear the apron in this relationship (and the pants too...but don't tell him that).  The good news is that we had a lovely dinner at Malone's and drinks downtown and sometime in between tomato puree and bedtime, he gave me this:

I promise to give you more details on that soon :-).....until then, we'll be pourin' the Chandon and celebrating the story of the dinner that wasn't and why it turned out to be a perfect night anyway.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Great Expectations

Something big is happening this weekend.  Like, majorly BIG.  That boy that hangs around all the time (you know, the one I'm always talking about who likes to kiss on me and steal my chocolate...) is off work.  All weekend.  I don't know how it happened, but I'm not asking questions, I'm just going to enjoy it. 

Upon finding out this little tidbit of information, the boy and me started brainstorming what we wanted to do.  This is typical for us most weekends because since we have such random schedules (well, his schedule is random, not mine) we have to plan out not only date nights, but chores, errands, and household projects well in advance.  (You think I'm kidding but I'm not...pretty sure I had the invite for the trip to Lowe's on Monday on our joint calendar, along with something to the effect of "Try to buy a king bed" and "church" on the calendar tentatively for this weekend).  We live and die by the calendar. 

Anyway, tangent aside, we had to figure out what we wanted to do this weekend, and after tossing out ideas of a weekend in Nashville and a trip to Louisville for a stay at 21C, we remembered "Oh yeah, we're NOT rich" and opted for a quiet weekend in Lexington.  But hey, I'm not complaining.  So clearly, the thought of a whole weekend together was too much for me to handle, and I immediately began making plans for what we could do.  With endless possibility, my mental plans went a little like this:

Friday Night:
Dinner and a movie at the house and snuggling with our furry animals...

I envision dinner outside next to the lake (that will clearly appear in my backyard magically just in honor of this rare weekend we are off together), followed by movies on the back dream patio that will also no doubt appear magically solely for our weekend enjoyment...

....and of course we will no doubt be watching some perfect "date night" romance movies...


Our Saturday would begin with a trip to the farmer's market downtown where we would enjoy a few blissful hours before the humidity gets out of control.  I have been wanting to go to the farmers market soooo much, but sadly have not due to the fact that waking up at 7:30 on a Saturday morning to drive across town and buy vegetables and eat cannolis by myself seemed too pathetic for a party of one.  Ha! 

Source: None via Taryn on Pinterest

Farmers market trip would be followed up with a picnic in the park where we would no doubt be transformed into super-models....and K would serenade me while I read my latest novel on my Kindle...

I also believe a Saturday afternoon nap would be in order before we undoubtedly enjoy a fancy dinner out followed by dancing late into the night...

Source: via Taryn on Pinterest

Ummm......okay so maybe I have gotten a little carried away here....back to reality.... 

After we discussed it, the boy was all, "Hey why don't I make dinner for you?" and I was all, "But you'll burn the kitchen down.." and then he was like, "Nuh-uh!" I thought, "Will there be wine?" and then clearly was like, "duh" I decided that the boy cooking me dinner for a change would be permissable.  So that is what is taking place this weekend. 

Ummm...a girl can dream?

Now, clearly, once we decided on said plans, I had to lay down some ground rules.  But first, let me back things up by saying the boy has never cooked dinner for me before.  Not that he hadn't offered.  He has.  Many times.  Access denied.  Here's why:  He's from Georgia.  Yeah, he's a good 'ol boy and his favorite recipe goes something like this: 2 lbs of meat, dipped in butter, fried in carbs, served with cellulite dipping sauce, and a heart-attack on the side.  Ummm, no thanks. 

So, we agreed that he could cook as long as it was healthy and that we could have a back-up plan for carry-out on standby.  Logically, once I conceeded, he promptly left my house to go home and "research" what he wanted to cook.  I heard from him an hour and a half later that he had decided on a recipe and we were good to go.  Cut to the conversation I had with him today over the phone.  He called me at work while he was at the grocery store getting ingredients for tomorrow night.  It went something like this:

K: Babe, I'm at the store.  I just wanna check and see what you have on this list at your house.
Me: okay...
K: extra virgin olive oil? (in a WTF is this tone)
Me: Yep
K: Fresh rosemary needles?
Me: No, only dried at the house so you will need to get that.  Do you know where that is at the store?
K:  No.  What about red wine vinegar?
Me: yeah, got it.
K: fresh basil?
Me: Nope...but that will be with the rosemary in the store.
K: Umm, 4 garlic cloves?
Me: I have minced garlic.  Does it say minced?
K:  It doesn't say.
Me: You better get fresh garlic.
K: Okay cool.
Me: Do you know where the fresh garlic is?
K: No.
Me: Do you know what garlic looks like?
K: No.
Me: I think you need to ask someone there for help.
K: I think so too.

So......that conversation happened.  Not that I'm worried about food poisoning or anything.  And I'm definitely not worried about the kitchen burning down...which is why I totally haven't alerted the local fire departments to be on standby on Friday.  Oh, and if previous conversation wasn't scary enough, then how about this text convo we had earlier:

K: Babe, I'm at your you have any string?
Me: Umm, wtf?  Does the recipe call for string?
K: No not dinner, but dessert.  Nevermind, I found some.


So anyways, I guess the purpose of this post is not only to let you know about my weekend plans, but also to hopefully ensure that one of my followers will alert the proper authorities should I become absent from this blog (because I've obviously died of food poisoning or a kitchen explosion). 

Somebody tell my parents I love them. 

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I blog, therefore I am?

Ummm, I legit have nothing to blog about.  I haven't taken any trips lately, accomplished anything or had any deep thoughts.  In short...I'm really boring.  My apologies to all my followers who I tricked into thinking I was interesting.  You've been duped....Suckers.

That said, this whole "I'm a pathetic loser who has nothing interesting to say"  thing really does not bode well for my blog.  I mean, if I am not blogging, then do I really exist?  I know, I'm like, super philosophical, right?  Haha...tricked you again!  I'm not philosophical at all. 

So with nothing interesting to say and no stories to tell, how about a recap of my week so far?  What'd you say? ....No???  Tough shit...that's what you're getting.


1. Breakfast

2. Followed up breakfast with an hour of self loathing after consuming more cinnamon rolls than I care to admit...

3. Tried to ride my dog like a horse since he is about the size of a minature pony. 

4. Dog didn't like it.

5. Target for the 3rd time in 2 days.  Yeah, for rizz. 

6.  Bought bedding...strangely enough, for the 2nd time in two days. 

7. Tried to make up with my dog for the earlier incident by letting him snuggle with my on the couch while I blogged and facebooked. 


1. Overslept.  Clearly.

2. conversation with at my work of death.

3.  After-work run, followed by heat stroke.

4. Pinot Grigio

5. Trip to Lowe's for paint where we saw a van that had been assaulted by Michael's craft stores and the GOP.

6. Painting at the boy's house.  We are de-boy-ifying his master bedroom so I stop having nightmares about his green walls eating me in my sleep. 

7. More Pinot Grigio.  Clearly.


1.  Overslept.  Again.  Obviously.

2. Prospecting. Prospecting. Prospecting.  Prospecting.  Prospecting.  (i.e., working)

3. Lunch!

4. Prospecting...customer

5.  Went to the bathroom and got distracted by my own relection. 

6.  Had more fun emailing with a ring pop on my hand than without....

7.  Discovered my Rosebud Salve had been molested by the heat both in the office and outside.  Pretty sure it was averaging between 99 to one million degrees farenheit.

8.  Gym, where I was informed that someone there thinks I am the "White Kim Kardashian" which basically just means that I have blonde hair and a huge ass.  Awesome.

9.  Pinot Grigio, Pinot Grigio, Pinot Grigio.

So there you have week so far....jealous?? 

Okay, so maybe not.  But the good news is that I'm linking up today with Flip Flops & Pearls for Semi-Wordless Wednesday so you can link up too and check out some posts that may actually be interesting. 


Happy hump day, Chocolate Lovers!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Like a fine wine..

Like a fine wine, we get better with age.  And so do our friendships.  At least mine anyway. 

Today I celebrate a very special birthday for my dearest friend Whitney....

It would be hard for me to acurately describe our friendship, but let's just say it's the "I need your help disposing of this body" kind of friendship....and those are pretty rare from what I understand.

Me and the fabulous birthday girl :-)

As I sit here trying to think of the best way I know how to describe my dear friend, I realize that words fail me.  We've been through a lot over the years and watched many birthdays come and go, and each year I feel more grateful for the gift of true friendship.  I could put up a bunch of pictures of us and our crazy shenanagans over the years, but it wouldn't even give you a glimpse of what we've been through, and the secrets we share, and the laughs we've had....

So I will say simply, happy birthday to my best friend....I am so grateful for you!

"Kindred Spirits" via Story People

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Learning to Fly

Do you ever have one of those days?  The kind where everything feels a little bit like it's falling apart?  Well, I'll be honest with you....I've had more than my fair share of those these last few weeks.  Especially this week.  I have felt exhausted and uninspired, and frankly just spiritually drained.  I think things came to a head while I was traveling to a business trip on Tuesday morning.  I left my house at 7am to begin the 5 hour drive to Fort Wayne, IN (I know, right...ugh) where I had a 2:00 meeting and an all day meeting on Wednesday.  Let's just say, I got to the hotel at 1:30pm with just enough time to shove a sandwich down my throat and check in to my room. 

For whatever reason, the driving gods decided to smite me on the way up and I hit closed road after closed road after closed road.  At one point, about halfway in, I pulled over on the side of the road and cried before untimately decided to stop and ask someone if there was a detour around the closed road I was supposed to spend the next 118 miles driving on.  Thank you Speedway employee. 

Due to the circumstances leading up to my arrival at the hotel, I would say I was less than pleasant at our meeting, and feel confident that I managed to alienate the better part of the Michigan and Indiana reps that were there and had to witness my annoyance.  Sorry about that.  Kinda. 

Wednesday's meeting lasted all day and was followed up with an annoucement of yet another organizational change for my position at the company.  It's a good change.  I know it is.  But still....I can't help but feel a certain amount of whiplash from the constant shuffling within this company.  I love my job...I do...but I am exhausted by it right now.  Exhausted. 

I was dreading my drive home.  Dreading it.  I left at 5:30pm, and I knew that if the drive home was anything like the drive up, I may not be home until 1am.  Luckily, it wasn't.  It was peaceful.  I was relaxed for the first time in 3 days.  I could tell the roads I was driving through had been rained on, but I never hit any bad weather.  In fact, my drive home was quite beautiful. 

About 2 hours in, I saw this:

And my rainbow was followed up by this:

And when I finally turned the radio on, I heard this:

Learning To Fly

Songwriters: Petty, Tom; Lynne, Jeff;
Well, I started out down a dirty road
Started out all alone
And the sun went down as I crossed the hill
And the town lit up, the world got still

I'm learning to fly but I ain't got wings
Coming down is the hardest thing

Well, the good ol' days may not return
And the rocks might melt and the sea may burn

I'm learning to fly but I ain't got wings
Coming down is the hardest thing

Well, some say life will beat you down
Break your heart, steal your crown
So I've started out for God knows where
I guess I'll know when I get there

I'm learning to fly around the clouds
But what goes up must come down

I'm learning to fly but I ain't got wings
Coming down is the hardest thing
I'm learning to fly around the clouds
But what goes up must come down

I'm learning to fly
I'm learning to fly

And when I got home, I saw this:

And I was happy.

Happy Thursday everyone :-)

Monday, July 18, 2011

The Truth about Running

Okay, here's the many of my dear readers, I was not born a skinny bitch.  I don't have that genetic make-up which allows me eat and drink whatever I want without the worry of gaining weight or having a muffin top.  I wish I was.  I really freakin' do.  The long of the short of it is that even if I eat a balanced, healthy, calorie-conscious diet, I still have to work out or else I WILL gain weight.  Period.  End of story. 

For whatever reason I decided that a great way to stay in shape was to take up running.  I always wanted to be a runner, but just never had the drive to do it.  So, a couple years ago I signed myself up for some local races and enlisted my family members to do them with me.  I figured if I was paying for them, I better get my ass in gear and start training...and train I did!  This past year, in the same races, I shaved over 14 minutes off my time in the Papa John's 10-miler.  Go me!  I'll admit I've had days (okay, weeks) where I have been seriously slacking in the running department and opted for the elliptical instead, but this summer I made a committment to myself that I would run no less than 10 miles a week, without fail.  And, I've been sticking to it, sometimes running anywhere from 15-17 miles in a week. 

But I've got a secret for you........

I hate running.

There, I said it.  I hate every mile of it.  Even though I've gotten better at it, and I've improved my time, and I'm in shape, I still. hate. running.  My knees hurt.  My hip hurts.  I'm often so tired I have daydreams of taking naps, but I run on.  Why do I do this to myself?  I keep hearing runners talk about this thing called a "runner's high".  Ummm....that does not exist.  This I can assure you.  The only "high" I get from running is when I can beat my boyfriend's time and rub it in his face.  That's pretty fun.  But other than that, not so fun. 

I'll admit that I love the feeling I get after a good run.  I'm energized and feel good about myself, and I love beating my old times and seeing the progress I've made over the last two years.  I will also admit that sometimes when I run on the treadmill at the gym, I imagine that there is a candybar (Almond Joy, to be specific) dangling in front of the machine and I am running towards it.  I know using chocolate as a motivator for working out may be counter-productive, but I'm sorry...It's an addiction.  My name is Taryn and I run for chocolate. 

So, despite my love/hate (mostly hate) relationship with running, I have decided once I reach 50 followers I am going to reward myself with a new pair of running shoes. (Don't worry sassy readers....I have also decided that if I ever reach 100 followers, I am doing a giveaway for you!  Oh, and it will be super fabulous because I'm super fabulous, and my readers deserve only the best!).  Side it wrong that I'm "rewarding" myself with shoes that are meant solely (pun intended) to torture me into an activity which I despise for the most part.  What can I say...masochism is my thing. 

So, there you have it...tell yo kids, tell yo wives (don't hide 'em) that I need 14 more followers to get my new runnin' shoes.  Oh, and I only need 64 more followers to give away fabulous things.  Happy Monday!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011


Dear True Blood,

Why did you have to get so weird?  I mean, first season was strange and all, but it was compelling.  Who can resist a regular girl falling for a vampire while also trying to dodge a serial killer out to get her?  Not this girl...I read the twilight books....I know vampires were totally in at the time.  But second and third season got a 'lil freaky.  Now, I'm dealing with not only vampires, but shapeshifters, fairys, werewolves, demonic witches, and panther shape-shifting orgies?  And wtf is with all the orgies???  For serious.  Now, in order to make up for the hour I spend watching your show, I have to spend the next day praying and bathing in holy water.  Who has time for that?  Not this girl.  Please get your act together before I cancel my HBO subscription....the massive amount of Christian guilt I feel over watching each week is certainly not worth the $15 I pay Insight every month.



P.S....If the nakedness does continue....I may to see more shirtless Alcide.  But that's neither here nor there.

Dear J. Crew,

Why are you so expensive?  I would like to buy things from you, but I cannot because it seems silly to spend the same amount on a cardigan sweater as I do on my car payment.  Please adjust prices accordingly to I can be fashionable whilst still affording groceries.

Yours in fashion,

Taryn Leigh

Dear New Girl at the Office,

You seem nice and all, but I think you say "awesome" too much.  Are things really that awesome?  Was meeting me really THAT awesome?  Did the customer you just spoke with really deserve 5 "awesomes" in a 2 minute period of time?  I think not.  Perhaps I can recommend some synonyms that can work in the place of awesome: great!, amazing!, impressive!, well done! could just use the word less overall.  Because let's face it, there's really not that many "awesome" things about being at work.


Taryn L.

Dear Nicholasville Road,

Wtf is up with the traffic?  It is ridiculous considering we live in a relatively small college town.  And the drivers on Nicholasville Road....ummm, do your blinkers work?  Okay great, then use them and I will both A. let you over, B. not hit you, and C. not scream and curse at you from the safety of my own car.

All my best,


Monday, July 11, 2011

Weekend Recap

Ummm...Mondays (for lack of a better word) suck.  My work phone started blowing up before I even got out of my car this morning, and by 10:00am, I felt like banging my head against my desk for a good hour.  After I decided against that as a remedy for my Monday morning angst, I decided to reminisce over my non-sucky weekend...

As mentioned in previous post, I spent my Friday evening with the boy enjoying the evening outside, wine in hand, grill fired up.  It was delightful.  Please reminisce with me for a moment...

Ahhh, the joys of summer nights and Sauvignon Blanc.  Side note...I tried a recipe on Friday evening inspired by this post from Christi over at Burlap and Basil.  It was delicious!   You must head over there and check out her fab recipies AND her July's delightful!

Saturday day was rather uneventful for me, except for the awesome deals I got at Ulta!  But first a little back story on this....

A few months ago after hearing a story about his cousin getting 27 bars of soap for free at Wal-Mart or something, the boy decided he needed to become an extreme couponer (the extreme part being that we didn't use coupons before and now we do...).  So now he gets the Sunday paper and clips out coupons for which we now have this beauty...

I will admit that at first I found this new "hobby" unbelievably annoying, and mostly a hassle in that it involved me constantly cleaning up mutilated newspapers from all over the house.  My distaste for this new obsession came to a boiling point when I found this little gem hanging out with the health and beauty products:

I feel it may have been slightly more effective for him to just clip a coupon for "No Sex"....  Anyways, I finally got over my annoyance with the couponing after we saved, like a million dollors (okay, like 20 dollars) on sunscreen before vacay.  I'm now starting to warm to the idea of this money saving thing, although we may have to have a "come to jesus talk" about the amount of feminine hygeine products he clips.  It's seriously starting to get weird.

So, back to this weekend and my little trip to Ulta, coupon book in hand.  I needed to get a few goodies, including my covergirl mascara which I was out of.  Well, wouldn't you know that CoverGirl products were buy one, get one 50% off, and somebody happened to have a $2.50 off CoverGirl coupon AND a $3.50 off Ulta coupon!  Well, hello cute new eyeliner I got for free...I'll make a nice little home for you in my make-up bag.  That combined with the deal I got on Matrix shampoo and conditioner meant I left there a happy little girl. 

With new shampoo and eyeliner in my beauty arsenal, I felt confident I could take over the world...or at least make it out to a bar or two Saturday evening.  So, I rounded up the girls and we made plans for an evening out.  Let me preface this by saying that we live in a college town and our only real options are college bars.  Ummm, let's just say that the gals and I are slightly past our college days to say the least, so I find bar-hopping these days to be a rather interesting experience.

For starters, at this age, the decision to go out needs to be made a good 6 to 10 hours before departure time to said bars.  Deciding what to wear can typically range from closet hopping to brand new outfit, and from hot pants to spanx these days as well.  Luckily we all managed to find something in our closets that would cover our wobbly bits and our self-doubt at the same time.  Lucky us.  The process of getting ready also involves several rounds of gossip as well as at least 1, maybe 2 glasses of wine (this is important because we need to be drunk enough to still want to go out by 11:00pm, but sober enough to not put on sweatpants and opt for a Lifetime movie instead).  It has become such a rare occurance to actually make it to the bars, that documentation is usually needed so as to prove that we actually do still have lives (and clean up well!) during moments where we bottom out on pathetic-ness (i.e., falling asleep at 9:00pm on a Saturday night).  This past weekend, since Miranda had the Porsche, said documentation came in the form of "car models"....umm, yeah, like in those stupid magazines. 

Ummm, yeah so that happened, and yes, that is Whitney straddling the Porsche logo.  What can I say, we are nothin' but class!

Anyways, after this display of ridiculousness, it was seriously time to get our bar hoppin' on.  First stop: over-crowded patio area with cash-only bar.  Ummm, scuse me?  I have only enough cash for covers...can I write you a check?  In addition to that, I find my tolerance for crowds to get lower and lower with every birthday that passes.  I need ma personal space please, and can you PLEASE blow your cigarette smoke away from me now?!?!  Anyways, we lasted at first bar right up until we needed to use the overcrowded bathroom which has only one stall.  Miranda made the executive decision that at 27, 28, and (almost) 29 years old respectively, it becomes socially acceptable to bypass the 10+ women in line for the women's restroom, and the 2 men in line in the men's bathroom, and walk right into the men's room (while 2 guys were standing with their junk out at the urinal) and claim one vacant stall in the men's room.  Well, that cleared the men out pretty quick, and to my satisfaction, there was a line of about 10+ guys waiting in line when we left.  (Oh come on...don't tell me all you ladies reading this don't take satisfaction in seeing men have to wait from time to time too...)

Our second stop along the way was much more bearable.  The lines were shorter and the bartender made my skinny girl margaritas just perfectly!  In addition, they had white wine, which they served in actual wine glasses....very strange.  Picture this...2 almost 30-year olds drinking wine at a dance club frequented by 20-year olds.  The irony of it all is that one glass of wine will do for one of us the same thing that 6 vodka cranberries used to do to us (young gals...that is what you have to look forward to).  Side adorable are my friends?

I don't care if a 22-year old girl was being impregnated on the dance floor to 'lil Wayne only 10-ft away...we will have our wine and drink it too! 

Side note...why do boys think it's funny to take pictures like this when you hand them the camera...

and pictures like this when you have the camera....

So, needless to say, it was an eventful evening that was capped off by me feeling the need to pre-emptively consume 2 tylenol PM tablets to avoid a hangover.  Well headache averted, however, I only vaguely remember waking up for 45 minutes to make the boy breakfast before sending him off to work before getting back into bed and sleeping (and I mean a sleep-through-sirens, thunderstorms, marching bands-kind of sleep) until 1:00 in the afternoon.  Say what?!  What was I thinking?  Let's just say that among the things I learned this weekend included this little tid-bit...2 glasses of wine + 2 skinny girl margs + 2 tylenol PM = lazy unproductive sunday.

Okay, I say unproductive Sunday, but in actuality, I did make it to the grocery store and out for a run before returning to bed to watch 10 consecutive hours of the Harry Potter marathon to complete my Sunday.  I know you're jealous you're not me right now. 

Anyways, that was my long-winded, mind numbing, weekend recap.  Thanks for bearing through that post.  Have a fabulous week dear readers!

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