Thursday, June 30, 2011

Reasons I think my boyfriend may actually be a dog...

....and when I say "dog", I don't mean the "He's such a dog!" way that your girlfriends use to describe all the shitheads you've dated in the past.  I'm talking specifically the "Woof woof, Ruff Ruff" kind of way.  (Side note: I almost said "bow wow" instead of "woof woof" but was afraid that might lead one to think Snoop Dogg, and my boyfriend is most definitely not Snoop D-oh-double-G).

Moving on....As I said, a few things have led me to believe he may actually be canine.

1.  He's hairy. 

Okay, he's not grizzly bear hairy, but he definitely has an excess of hair in random places (we've covered the nose hair before).  This morning, as I was gazing out of our condo enjoying the calm of the beach you can only truly appreciate before 8:00am, I watched the boy prop his feet up on the coffee table, only to catch the light on his crazy hairy toes.  Something about the sunrise and the position of the beach condo we are staying in shed light on this particularly hairy attribute, and all I can say is "wow".  Hairy toes will be addressed and taken care of before we leave this island. 

2. He chases birds.

No really, he does.  Since we are staying in a beachfront condo, I have begrudgingly dragged the boy along on my morning run along the water each day of our vacay.  It's a wonderful change from the sidewalks of Lexington, and something I will miss when we leave on Saturday.  What I will not miss is watching my boyfriend run after a flock of birds which had landed on the beach as we were doing our cool down walk.  And when I am describing this, please picture in your head, a group of birds minding their own business about 100 feet away, and a 28-year old boy who sees them and thinks "Ooooh, birds!!!" and then chases after them until they fly away.  Too bad I didn't have him on a leash.

3. He doggie paddles.

Now I know you're thinking that this one could go either way since a lot of humans doggie paddle too.  But, rest asured the boy knows how to swim.  He just chooses to doggie paddle, I guess.  I discovered early in the week that despite the fact that you can easily walk out into the ocean for about 50 feet, my boyfriend will choose to "swim" out in even half a foot of water.  Yes, I'm serious.  At one point after playing in the water for about 15 minutes, I informed him that I was heading back to the towel.  He followed suit and came back in with me.  I walked.  He swam.  At one point he said, "Hey, why aren't you waiting for me?!" and when I turned and noticed him doggie paddling in an area of water that didn't even make it up to my knees, I replied, "I don't know you" and continued walking. 

4. When I scold him, he hangs his head and mopes away.

Yes, he really does do this.  At first I thought it was him trying to be funny, but now I'm not so sure.  Even when I get on him about something silly, I get the same response...head hung, walk away.  Seriously??  I don't think asking him to put the toilet seat down when he's finished is the equivalent of "shaming" him.  Although with the way he acts about it, I guess so.  Usually I can give him a treat though, and all is forgiven again.

5.  He gets excited easily.

I swear this boy gets excited over the stupidest stuff.  And when I say excited, I mean, eyes light up, shit eating grin, and if he had a tail, it would wag.  Most recently, he got excited over discovering we could get free coozies at the Piggly Wiggly here on the island if we spent $20.  Well, we only spent $12, so I bought the thing for him anyway.  In his little canine mind, I have no doubt he was thinking, "This is the best day!!!"

6.  He referes to EVERYTHING as his "toys".

Much like a dog, everything he likes is referred to as a toy.  Be it his phone, computer, my breasts, a frisbee, an actual toy, a boat, or a ball....if he likes it, it's a toy.  Sometimes I wonder if I asked him to "Go get your toy" similar to the command I give my dog Sawyer, whether he would come back with a cell phone in his mouth. 

7.  He's always happy to see me.

This one seriously baffles me.  I've dated my fair share of men...nice guys, not so nice guys, nerds, assholes, etc.  You name it, I've dated it.  None of them ever seemed genuinely happy to see me EVERY time I came into their presence.  Even when I'm moody and mean and not all that fun to be around, he still seams happy to just lay next to me and look at me, or try out all his best tricks to get me to smile.  This quality I think is the one that seals it for me.  He is most definitely a dog.  If we actually lived together, I wouldn't be surprised to come home to him waiting at the door, tail wagging, drooling, ready to jump on me and in his canine way say, "I've missed you so much!  I'm so happy you're home!  I love you!  This is the best day!"  

I rest my case.


So what you do or dog? 

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Silly love songs

I know it's cheesy, but........

....I love this guy :-)

Did anyone pick up on the second song he was playing??  I'll give you a hint...

...think "90210" and "The Heights" circa 1992...

Anyways, I love silly little evenings like this with the boy. 


What is your favorite love song?

What are the little things your boy does for you that makes you smile????

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Summer Solstice

Greetings to my 21 blog readers!  Guess's the first day of summer and the longest day of the year.  How are you planning to celebrate??

I know it's not Christmas or anything, but it does only come around once a year and is usually filled with many things....the promise of pool weather, summer flings, flip flops, and (if you live in the south) the reassurance that the sweating off of your make-up on a daily basis is really only just beginning.

Today I started my summer off right by hitting the snooze on the alarm for exactly an hour.  Do I feel bad that the boy was trying to sleep next to me while I let the alarm ring every 10 minutes?  No, I do not.  He in turn likes to leave his watch in random places in my bedroom which goes off at 7am every day.  Let me tell you how fun it is searching for a "beep beep" noise all over your bedroom on your one morning you get to sleep in a week.....

Ummm, moving on....So, as I said, I'm kicking the summer off right today by partaking in the following activities:

1. Sweating through my work clothes no less than 3 times today.

2. Pulling the hair off my neck to fan myself every hour on the hour.

3.  Checking for butt sweat stains on my way out of all my customer appointments.

4.  Making sure there is a less-than-adequate amount of freon in my car to run the A/C at an acceptable level.

5.  Letting friends and strangers alike use the reflection from my oily skin as a mirror.

6.  Listening to all of my favorite summer tunes.  Oh wait.....scratch that....I still have no CDs.  Good thing I'm not bitter about that though (see this post for the back story on that).

7.  Adding Hilton Head Island to my list of locations on all of my WeatherBug apps on every wireless device I own so I can check the updated forecast every half hour.  Did I mention I will be there in 4 days?????

Oh, and since the summer solstice theme is "heat", I also celebrated by scalding my tongue on both my coffee and my Lean Cuisine today.

I also plan on giving serious consideration to taking my dog to the dog park, only to ultimately decide that it's too humid and opt to stay in and enjoy a Skinny Girl Margarita instead.  Gotta love summer. 

The boy is also celebrating the solstice by working obscene hours at his job, dropping his credit card in the door of his truck where it will get stuck (side note: how the hell does this actually happen??), having his super cute gf bring him a smoothie at work, and I suspect will cap his celebrations off later by eating watermelon and drinking from the garden hose. 


Now your turn!

How are you celebrating summer? 

Leave your comments below!

Monday, June 20, 2011

What I learned this weekend

1. Wine can and will freeze.  And the cork will blow off the top of the bottle if you put it in the freezer and forget about it.

2. Wine slushies are delicious.

3.  Regardless of the cut or style, any underwear I own with flowers on them will be referred to by the boyfriend as "granny panties".

4.  When my mom runs out of things to clean at my house, she will begin cleaning the cleaning products themselves.  This weekend she took my vacuum apart and washed each piece with hot soapy water.

5.  McDonalds is selling ice cream cones for $0.49....this is now all I can think about.

6.  In addition to $0.49 cones, McDonalds also now has Rolo McFlurries.  Did I really need to know this??

7.  No matter how old I get, some things never my dad giving me a lecture on changing the air filters in my house as soon as he walks in the door....every single time he comes to my house.

8.  No amount of exercise I do will make me feel better about eating 30 starbursts in the span of 3 hours.

9.  Watching the boys build a pergola over the deck can be just as exhausting as building it yourself.  Trust me.

10.  Women see household projects as a way to make a house a home.  Men only see dollar signs.

11.  A size 6 at Target is actually a size 11.  Know this before going into the dressing room with a pair of shorts and witnessing what your ass and muffin top look like in a Target size 9.  I promise, it is NOT good. 

12.  The bottoms of my new pair of Baby Phat flip flops I got on clearance are very slick.  Wish I'd known this before I walked fast down the stairs with a cup of hot coffee my hand. 

13.  Never underestimate the healing power of a good long run...

14.  For that matter, never underestimate the calming power of a giant glass of wine...

15.  Monday always comes too soon. (okay, I didn't really learn this fact over the weekend, it was merely re-inforced this weekend)


Now your turn!

What did you learn this weekend?

Leave your comments below!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Defining Dad

father [fah-ther]

1. a male parent.
2. a father-in-law, stepfather, or adoptive father.
3. any male ancestor, especially the founder of a race, family, or line; progenitor.
4. a man who exercises paternal care over other persons; paternal protector or provider
5. a person who has originated or established something

It's father's day.  I actually prefer to call it Mike's day.  Mike is my dad.  There's a lot of ways that a father can be defined...a male parent (obvious), the founder of a family, a paternal provider, a person who has established something......these are all great ways to describe my dad.  He is definitely all of those things.  He is the founder of my family, the male provider, the protector, and most definitely someone who has established great things. 

But did you know?

My dad is SO. MUCH. MORE.

He is the carver of the turkey....

...and the maker of the coffee.

He is a lover of Bourbon...

...and a catcher of big fish.

He is the king of the household projects...

...and the captain of the remote control (when mom is not around).

He is.....ummmm.....whatever this is...

...and a homemade pizza connoisseur.

He is the guy who ran the 10-miler...faster than all of us...8 weeks out of knee surgery.

He is the king on the dance floor...

...and the man behind the camera.  Seriously.  He never. stops. taking. pictures.

He is the guy who helps his daughter put up blinds in her first home...and the guy who built the shelves in her garage....

...and the guy who will walk her down the aisle one day.

He is a role model, and someone other men can look up to...

...and the man who helped create this.

He's the man who loves this lady (I suspect even more now than he did then)....

...and the first guy I ever loved.

So now you know.  My dad is beyond definition....and he's pretty darn great.

Happy Mike's Day, Dad!  Love you!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Oh brother, where art thou?

First a brother, then a bother, now a friend. ~ Unknown

Hey guess what...

My little brother is 23 today.  Okay, well so he's maybe not physically my "little" brother....(well, that may not actually be true for long if my nightly peanut butter consumption rate does not taper off soon).  But that's neither here nor there.

Let's get back to the subject.  My "little" brother is celebrating his birthday today.  I have to say, as far as baby brothers go, I have a pretty good one. 

I couldn't resist....

I'll be honest with you, there are times when this kid annoys me so much, I want to poke his squinty little eyes out!  But for whatever reason, I cannot stay mad at this boy, even when he really, really deserves it.  Maybe it's because he's the only brother I have.  Maybe it's because he can talk his way out of anything.  Maybe it's because he knows me too well.  Maybe it's all three. 

A few years ago my brother moved up to Lexington to finish school at UK and it has been quite interesting living in the same city.  On the one hand, it's great having someone to grab a drink with and who can come by and watch my dog if I am going to be out of town.  But on the other's a couple of the "not so great" things I have had to deal with since he has moved here:

-A garage full of gross "boy" furniture that not even the freaks on craigs list will take off my hands.  Seriously, it's been, what, 10 months now?  I would love to have my garage back to myself so I can park my car in it.  Especially since the car has been broken in to.
-A screaming match at midnight the day my brother was leaving for a "camping trip" on why I wouldn't let him borrow my $350 camera.  (Later found out the camping trip was actually Bonaroo....good call on my part).
-Driving him to UK Hospital to get pins put in his hand after he broke it in a bar fight.  I will spare you all the messy details of this, but it involves taking a day off work, driving and waiting during the surgery, asking him repeatedly to stop asking the nurse for a joint post-op, all while I was unknowingly coming down with the flu.
-About 4 or 5 calls to come unlock his car for him because he had locked the keys in the car (yeah, it was seriously at the point where we had a spare key made for me simply for this purpose).
-Giving up all my monday evenings (and quite a few sundays) during the 2010-2011 fall football season because Zach was without cable at the time.

You get the gist....

So all that said, here we are, June 16, and my brother is nowhere to be found in Lexington.  He is currently staying with my sister and her husband in Atlanta while he does a summer internship.  And guess what....

I miss him. 

I miss my baby brother.  And Sawyer misses his Uncle Zach.  But my little brother is busy being a grown up and making us all very proud this summer....and somehow my life is slightly more predictable without him here.  I do not have to pause for a second when I get a phone call or a text from him to think "I wonder what this is gonna be about..."  But who likes predictability anyways?

Uncle Zach...

So on this here 23rd birthday dear brother, let me say...I am glad to have you as a brother and very proud to see the great man you are becoming.  I am happy to be stuck in the middle (of all the Lorenzen kiddos) with you...wouldn't have it any other way.


After a girl is grown, her little brothers - now her protectors - seem like big brothers.  ~Astrid Alauda

Sunday, June 12, 2011

You know you're getting older when...... get excited to have a Saturday with nothing you can clean your house.

....the Banana Boat tanning oil that used to be in your pool bag is replaced by a can of 45-SPF spray, and you're considering investing in a big floppy hat to wear on all pool and beach outings so that the sun never hits your face. start referring to stores like Abercrombie and American Eagle as children's clothing stores.

....your nightly routine now includes applying under-eye cream. spend the first hour of work prepping for an appointment, and upon leaving for said appointment, you discover that you not only left your keys in your car, but you also left it running. own more cardigan sweaters than you do underwear. go out for one of your best friends' birthdays and not only do you need a round of coffee after dinner in order to consider making it out to the bars, but your friend informs you that as a birthday gift to herself, she joined Weight Watchers. use your reward gift cards from work to buy a vacuum. have to beg your boyrfriend to trim his nose hairs because they are starting to curl up around the nostrils. drink one glass of wine and you can't feel your legs. start getting ready for bed at 9:00pm...

....your disposable income goes to purchases at Home Depot and Lowes rather than stores like Forever 21 and Express. ask for a Cuisinart for your birthday. didn't think "The Hangover 2" was funny at all... completely identify with the mom on Modern Family, and your boyfriend agrees that she is "so you"... get more accomplished on Saturday morning between the hours of 7am and noon than you do all week. send your boyfriend a calendar invitation to date night so you can both have it in your Outlook calendar. no longer care that your butt is jiggling on that walk from your lounge chair to the steps at the's flipping hot and you need to get in (and feel secretly smug in knowing that all the 19-year olds in their teeny tiny suits will have jiggly butts too in about 5-10 years). no longer care about what just about anyone thinks...except yourself...because that's all that really matters anyway.


Now your turn!!!

"You know you're getting older when......"

Leave your answer in the comment box!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

New Layout!

I have a new blog layout!  And when I say layout, I am not referencing what I would like to be doing right now...laying out by a pool.  Side note:  Who in Lexington has a pool we can hang out at?!?!  I'll bring the adult bevs!

Moving, clearly I have a new blog layout which I am wicked pumped about!  I hope you like my blog's new home as much as I do!  It was done by the fabulous Jenn at Munchkin Land Designs.  Check out her page if you are interested in a fabulous custom blog design.

I hope you will spend some time checking out the links as well as checking out some of the other blogs I am loving right now.  If you are a blogger yourself, feel free to grab my button on the right if you would like.  There are still many different elements of my blog that are a work in progress and will develop more over time.  Stay tuned tuned for more updates!

In addition, you can now search for past blog posts by category on the left hand side.  If you would like to email me or follow me on Twitter, click the "Pursue Me Here" link at the top of the page.

Lastly, I LOVE hearing your comments and feedback on my posts!  Let me know what you think of my new page and show Jenn the love if you like her design. 

Happy Saturday!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The Matrix

For those of you who don't know, I have the luxury of driving around in a 2003 Toyota Matrix.  I'll stop for a moment right there so everyone can take a moment to marvel in the life of luxury and oppulence I experience day to day....

Okay, moving I said, I drive the Matrix.  Sounds cool right?  I mean, Keanu Reeves and Larry Fishburne are cool, and everyone loves action and the special effects we saw in "The Matrix" the movie.  Let me tell you what is not cool...a car called the Matrix.  Well, my car to be specific.  Since purchasing this bad boy about 3 years ago, I have put over 80,000 miles on it (gotta love being an outside sales rep).  Based on the US National average, cars are expected to have an average of 10,000-12,000 miles put on them in the course of a year...anything above that would be deemed "excessive" by industry averages.  Well, you know me...I am anything but average and as can be proven by the 26,000 per year I've managed to rack up on that bad boy.

In addition, Valvoline likes to tell me that I am supposed to drop $60+ on an oil change every 3000 miles too and will demonstrate said wishes by sending me harrassing "reminder" emails and putting a sticker at the top of my windshield every time I go thank you.  That would be one every 45 days....promise. 

So, facts and statistics aside....let me tell you a little bit about the joys of driving this little car.  Miles aside, this car actually gets pretty decent gas mileage which bodes well for me in my job as a sales rep since I spend a good deal of time staring out this windshield.  That's about the only thing I really enjoy about it these days to be honest, and the sad part is that I often see other people driving these Toyota Matrixes and think how cute they are.  I look longingly into the windows of Matrixes that I see parked at the grocery store when I'm walking past.  They are actually great little cars!  Mine, however, is a dump. 

For starters, my dog has taken ownership of the back seat.  I can no longer use this area of the car as it is covered in blankets, sheets, towels, etc. for the dog to lay on, and those blankets, sheets, and towels are covered in dog hair.  It's basically a no fly zone.  Not only are the windows in the back seat covered with dog drool, slobber, and nose prints, but I don't even bother rolling the front windows down anymore because they create a swirling mess of dog hair in the car which brings hair not only into the front seat, but at times my mouth as well.  Yay for me.

my Sawyer's backseat

The other really awesome thing about my car is the tendancy for the hubcaps to fall off.  I seriously do not know what is up with this.  Through the course of the winter and early spring in 2010, I lost all 4 hubcaps at random times, leaving me with a pretty janked-up looking pile of crap to drive around.  That got old after a few months to not only me, but my family members, so my mom hijacked the old Matrix last summer and got 4 new ones put on.  Thanks Kelli.  Good news though.....sometime in March I walked out to my car and noticed the right back side was devoid of one of my precious less-than-a-year-old hubcaps.  Two weeks later, the front left side jumped ship as well.  Apparently my car did not like the asymmetry and needed to take action to balance itself out.  I have now gone through 6 perfectly shitty hubcaps and am forced with the insurmountable task of waiting for the other 2 to go missing so I can buy a new set of 4. 

You jealous yet??

Well, don't be, because you have yet to hear the coup de gras...this morning as I was leaving for work, I noticed this:

Aside from dirt and dog hair, what you are looking at is a console devoid of nearly all my CDs!  Apparently some asshole decided to help himself to all the CDs in my car (with the exception of one dropped under the car and a couples others) and rifle through my glove compartment (where I had more CDs for the taking).  In addition, said thief also stole 2 car chargers as well.  Seriously?  WTF??!!!

Don't worry though...among the 3 CDs that were left were "Data Disk 1" and "Kenzie's Mix" (Kenzie is my 15 year old sister) so I can still rock out in my car (note sarcasm).....yay for me.

 So, there you have it....another day in the luxurious life of me.  Happy Tuesday!

Friday, June 3, 2011

These are my confessions...

....just when I said all I thought I could say, my chick on the side says she got one on the way....

Haha, so now that we got that out of the way, I want to try something new...Friday Confessional.  I'll try to keep it PG for all those readers that scare

I Confess...that for one night at dinner this week, I had Asparagus, Skinny Girl Margaritas, and marsh mellows.  Sad but true.

I Confess....that I had that weird "asparagus pee" smell going on for about 24 hours after said dinner....

I Confess....that every time I stumble upon "Secret Life of the American Teenager" I agree that it is by far the stupidest show I have ever seen and then immediately watch 2-3 episodes back to back.  (Side note...WTF is up with this show?  Have things changed THAT MUCH since I was a teenager and this really is the secret life of the american teenager?  Holy crap, please say no....)

I Confess....that at one point this week I told my boyfriend to quit kissing me because it was distracting me from eating chocolate...

I Confess....that sometimes I think of dumping my boyfriend for chocolate.  Or ice cream.  Or Cake.  Or cupcakes.  Definitely cupcakes.

I Confess....that I miss my girlfriends....and I don't see them nearly enough.....:-(

I Confess....that I feel confident that I need a Pimp Cup (if you don't know what a Pimp Cup is....check out Miss PinkLouLou's bloggy) for everything in my everyday life...including a teeth brushing, bill paying, gym time, sexy time, sleepy time, etc., etc., etc., pimp cup...

I Confess....that I would still really like to find a summer pool membership (or a friend to mooch their pool for the summer)...preferably one where alcoholism is encouraged, and there are little to no small children running around doing cannonballs....

I Confess...that as I write this here bloggy on my back patio, the kids are doing this...

....waiting for me to love on them....

I Confess....that I wish I had a fenced in yard so the kids to come play with me while I write my bloggy :-(

I Confess...that I may or may not still be sweating out white trash margaritas from the lake this past weekend...
I Confess....that I'm not above shameless self-promotion....

I Confess....that I need more bloggy followers and twitter followers....(@TarynLeighLo).....

I Confess....that I HATE my guy's new hours at work.  Barf.

I Confess....that I wish my legs looked like this....

I Confess....that I can't have a Friday Confessional without leaving you with this....

Oh, and also, I Confess....that Usher's abs are two scoops of yum....

So, there you have PG confessions for the week...happy Friday friends and bloggers!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Money Meltdown

Here's the skinny is tight these days.  The last year and a half have been quite the roller coaster with regards to money....I bought a house, then took a different position at my job which was a pay cut, then just changed positions at my company again in February.  It has been such an adjustment every time trying to adjust to these constant changes at work and the rising cost of everything in my life the last couple years...ugh.  So let's just say that life as a commissioned sales rep in this tough economy ain't always grand, and the last couple months have been a struggle at times.  The main thing I miss is those little wants and needs that you sometimes have to let go of when you don't have the extra disposable income to treat yourself. 

So, today I had a money "mental" meltdown and just got so frustrated at all the things on my wish list that I can't have right now, and am now just needing to vent about it in my blog!  So, without further ado, here is my list of things I am currently wanting but can't afford (sad face)....

Anything from Sabon...particularly these....

We stumbled across this store when we were in NYC in the fall and I (of course) had no money then and could not get the AVIV perfume you see above.  Of course, now my mom and sister have a bottle so I smell it every time I see them....such a tease.  And seriously, the Lavender Apple Body Scrub?  Pure heaven.

Next up....these babies...

I got these sassy flippies for my Momma (aka....Hurricane Kelli) for her b-day a few weeks ago, and secretly really wanted them for myself.  They are the Matisse Universal Sandal from DSW and they are a-d-o-r-a-b-l-e.  Not only did they not have them in my size, I also could not afford them (after all, it was Mom's bday, not mine) I sacrificed my summer feet bling bling for my mom's.

Next up....and this is starting to become an actual need rather than a a hair cut and highlight.  Normally I go every 8 weeks to see my hairdresser, but I can push it to 10 weeks sometimes depending on the weather and how bad my hair (and finances) are.  It has now been 13 weeks and I officially have about an inch of split ends, way too long side bangs, and worst of all...TPT (trailer park trash) roots.  Being at the lake this past weekend did not help at all either...ugh.  But, as it stands it costs me $190 with cut, highlights, toner, and tip....and I just can't drop the chedda on that right now. 

Okay, so this isn't really me....but right now it kinda feels that way....need haircut SOON!

Another thing on my wish list right now is Painting With a Twist.  I have seriously been wanting to do this since they opened and it's just not something in the cards for me right now.  Soooo sad about this one!  I just checked out their June calendar and there are sooo many good ones coming up!

...especially the one for June 11:

...and the ones for June 17 and, love love!

Okay, so remember when we had all that crazy Ky weather and the storms were out of control?  Well, this happened to the table umbrella on my back patio....

So, yeah, just when I was getting my patio looking cute....planted flowers, grass has somewhat grown back, cute chair cushions.....anyways....I'll be needing a new one of these.  But not now of course. that that rant is over (and believe me, my wish list could have gone on for days....) I feel slightly better.  I also need to say that I know it's hard times out there for a lot of people, and definitely way worse than me.  I'm grateful to have a job and a home and all the things I really do need, but today was just one of those days when everything just got to me.  It's not the first, and it won't be the last....we've all been there, right???

Life, Love and the Pursuit of Chocolate

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