Monday, April 25, 2011

April showers can kiss my ass....and other recent gripes...

Well, it's been a while...a long while.  My first excuse would be my second excuse doesn't exist.  Sorry.  That said, this blog is merely to update you on the last week of my life and my latest gripes.  I warn be bitching...leave now if you don't like "whiners".

Have you ever heard the expression "I need a vacation from my vacation"??  Well, that would be me this week.  We got back from Georgia on Monday, and frankly I should have taken Tuesday off.  For realz.  I can't really say that I had any major work crisis on Tuesday other than a barrage of emails and customer issues.  While I do love my job, I find my biggest gripe is when customers don't listen to the simple instructions I give's not hard.  Do what I tell you....exactly what I tell you...and you won't have issues with your account that I will need to fix.  Sounds easy, right?  One would think, but that is rarely the case.  Without getting into the details, let's just say, Tuesday was a beast.  I vividly remember sitting in my car on my lunch break on Tuesday, exhausted already, trying to decide whether to cry or buy up all the chocolate in the Speedway across the street.  I went for a bag of the jumbo "shareable" size peanut m&ms and went back to work.  Let's just say I shared the first half of the bag with my thighs and the second half with my ass.  500 calories later.....I felt both comfort and misery (at the thought of the extra time I would need to put in at the gym).  Oh well. 

There was light at the end of the work-week tunnel though.  All week I was looking forward the the weekend because my family and I had our annual Keeneland day planned.  This year is kind of a big deal because Keith has never been to Keeneland (I know, right??).  So after 5 years in Lexington, I was planning on introducing him to one of the only fun things to do in this city.  Typically, my family does it up pretty big...we tailgate, we drink, we eat, we socialize, we play cornhole, we bet, we lose money, we eat some more.  It's pretty f'ing awesome.  Plus, it's pretty much the only time I can get my family to visit me in Lexington.  So the plan was for everyone to stay at my place Friday night, Keeneland bright and early Saturday, and I had made dinner reservations for Saturday night.  Keith and I spent all evening Wednesday after work and the gym cleaning the carpets, washing sheets, and getting the guest room ready.  Thursday night I tackled the bathrooms and the kitchen.  Friday I had a pre-planned half day at work so I could get everything spotless (well as spotless as I can get things) and ready for guests. 

Well, the best laid plans typically go to shit and this time was no different.  Mom called me Friday on my way to work to inform me that there was 80% chance of rain on Saturday and Dad was trying to find out if we could get tickets to the clubhouse.  Dad called me 30 minutes later to tell me that we could not get tickets to the clubhouse.  He also let me know that he called Brynn and Lukus (sister and brother-in-law) to let them know the recent developments as they might not want to make the drive to Lexington if it's going to rain.  I'm not going to lie, I was pretty mad at this point.  For months we had been planning this day at Keeneland and I had made it VERY clear to everyone that it was important to me that everyone be there.  Keith doesn't typically get weekends off so he had to take vacation days in order to go.  Well, I guess everyone in the family decided that even though it was important to me to still make the trip, it was more important to them to not get wet (even though there are many indoor areas at the racetrack).  So, no one came.  The good news in all of this, however is that I was able to return the $120 dress I bought specifically for the outing.  I plan on using it to fund the therapy I'll need for yet another "middle-child" disaster.  This fund has slowly been growing since middle school...;-)

All was not lost though....Keith and I still went to Keeneland on Saturday with my best gal pal Whitney, and had a blast.  The rain stopped at about 9:00am and didn't start up again until 8:00pm on Saturday, so we had a nice, dry, and at some points, sunny day at Keeneland.  Whitney even won $150 on a $6 tough shit to everyone who missed out!  We even got to meet, the f'ing Easter Bunny.  Ha!

Okay, so now that I have gotten that rant out of the way, I have to ask....what the hell is up with the rain and storms...for serious...what is up with that?  I know it's April and these showers are supposed to bring some May flowers, but damn....where are these flippin' tulips already?!?!  So far April showers have gotten me the following:  a broken outdoor patio umbrella, a wet dog (and accompanying "wet dog" smell in my house), muddy entry way floors, about 20 bad hair days, that squishy "foot in a wet sandal" feeling when walking through a rainy parking lot, and of course locked in the Fayette mall during a tornado warning....but what it has NOT gotten me is any flippin' flowers...not even one!  So I appeal to you mother nature (more like mother f**ker at this point)...enough with the rain.  I promise we get it.

Aside from Keeneland, this weekend was also Easter.  Since Keith had requested the whole weekend off for Keeneland, we decided to take advantage and go to the Easter service at Southland.  I have been to this Easter service for the past 2 or 3 years, so I immediately suggested it for Sunday morning.  Keith hadn't been to this church before, but agreed to go, and I agreed to check out Quest (the church Keith sometimes goes to) sometime in the future.  The service was great, and the message as well if I do say so myself.  As we were walking back to the car, I asked Keith what he thought of the service.  His response??  "Well, it was good, but I feel like Quest has better graphics."  I felt tempted to agree with him in this...while I have not been to a service at Quest before, I do remember something in the bible stating that if Jesus had put together a power point with some nice graphics or a better edited video on the importance of his life, he may not have been crucified.  After all, good graphics is one of the 10 Commandments, right?  Oh geez...I say this in good fun.  If ever it came into question whether males are visual creatures, I believe that statement proves it.  God love him. 

The final coup de grace in my fabulous, yet un-fabulous weekend was discovering last night that I am allergic to band-aids.  Yeah, for real.  Ironically enough, Keith has also developed an allergy to putting dishes in the dishwasher.  The good news for him though is that while my allergy results in puss-filled blisters on my skin, his allergy merely results in an annoyed girlfriend.  Oh and learn.

There were a couple small highlights to my week....I can't let you think it was all bad.  They include: buying Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 on dvd (though slightly less awesome after discovering the brother ordered it on On Demand on my tv while dog-sitting), and second (and best of all) discovering an $18 bottle of Pinot Grigio on the menu at The Pub.  Whit and me made short work of that!

I leave you with one final photo....even though dishes in the dishwasher aren't his thing, I still find him useful around the house...and I didn't even have to ASK for him to do this..... :-)


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