Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Mean NOT "fetch"

I think it's important to take a moment every now and then to shed light on important real-world issues that have brought devestation to many.  Today is that day.  While some of you may choose to highlight such topics as cancer, apartheid, or even the on-going earthquake devestation in Japan, I choose to discuss a topic that continues to cripple the psyche and the social circumstance of girls everywhere.  Mean girls.  It's an epedemic.

Mean Girls: Girls who are bullies and use "girl agression" (nasty comments, trickery, deceit, excluding people from events, spreading rumors, stealing boyfriends,etc.) to manipulate other girls.

While the origin of mean girls is highly unknown, studies have shown that often times the evolution of a mean girl can stem from any of the following:  Bitchy PTA mothers, "Princess" complex as a child, Excess of bleach blonde hair dye which seeps into the brain, Not enough "hugs" from mommy and daddy, cripplingly low self esteem stepping from gross personal shortcomings, and of course, a downright Evil soul.  Typical markings can include, but are not limited to, the following:  Processed blonde hair, usually accompanied by TPT (trailer park trash) brown roots, a gaggle of minions on either side, a boyfriend (usually an asshole, typically stolen from another girl), and facebook profile pictures including either "modeling" shots or pictures by themseves in bikinis, underwear, or a general lack of clothing.

It is important to remember that, like herpes, mean girls have no cure and can hibernate for lengths of time seemingly unnoticed.  However, outbreaks of mean girls can be sudden and very painful.  They will use any number of tactics to get what they want, usually involving bringing you down to build themselves up.  Typical methods of doing so involve bitchy facebook posts, facebook stalking, telling lies about themselves and you to mutual friends and acquantainces, "accidentally" on purpose spilling their drink at you on a bar, and hurling indirect insults like "skank" and "bitch" at you when you walk by.

WARNING: Mean girls will be nice to your face, but don't be fooled...they can and will turn on you the second you turn your back.  Never leave a mean girl alone with your boyfriend, mutual friends, or your boss as they have perfected the art of manipulation.  Mean girls often travel with "Skinny Bitches".  Beware.

As stated before, there is no cure for mean girls, however those who have come in contact with them can take comfort in knowing that when stripped down, mean girls are actually merely pathetic, wannabes, with poor social skills.  Mean girls will never experience the joy of true friendship, meaningful relationships, and real pure happiness. 

If you or someone you know has been affected by a mean girl, please watch the following video, and remember, you are not alone!

2 comments: said...

Hahaha!! I laughed out loud the entire time I read this. Thank you and I love you :)

Rachel said...

Amen sistah!

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