"I'm really craving nachos right now."
"No, this is a V8 engine."
"I did legs yesterday...today is chest and back."
"Can we make, like, mini-pizzas for dinner?"
"You wanna play with my penis?"
"You want to go to O'Charleys?"
"I'm tired of relaxing...is there a project I can work on?"
"I'm going to clean out the garage on my day off."
"What the hell are we watching?"
"Can I play with your boobs?"
"What can I make for lunch today?"
"What are you making for dinner?"
"What do we have to eat around here?"
"No thanks...If I get hungry I'll just have a candy bar."
"Rite Aid had a great sale on vodka...I bought 2 bottles."
"Can you make that thing with the goat cheese?"
"Can I have a blow job?"
"I taped the Victoria's Secret Fashion show for you."
"I've been farting the whole time we've been on this run."
"Those jambox speakers would be cool for Christmas."
"I really want some new rims for my car."
"I don't need any new clothes."
"I'm gonna go poop...be right back."
"When you leave the room, can you please remember to turn the lights off?"
"That bitch is crazy."
"Should I do a Roth IRA or a Mutual Fund?"
"Wanna have sex?"
"I know you already told me, but what are we doing today?"
"Do we have any Doritos?"
"It was the dog that farted."
"I farted."
"You're so cute when you're mad."
"Should we get some buffalo wings to start?"
"She's not my girlfriend."
"One day, I'll own my own business...and I'll make bank."
"Yes, I've thought about what I'm getting you for Christmas."
"When is Christmas? Like, what day?"
"Look what happens when I put my fingers in the dogs' nose..."
"It feels so good to itch my balls."
"Erin Andrews is so hot."
"Im out of gym shorts...can we do laundry tonight?"
"If I sweep the floor, will you play with my penis?"
"Your heels are like landmines on our bedroom floor."
"What's it like to be married to someone as sexy as me?"
"How come you never wear make-up anymore?"
"You're such a brat."
"I'm out of protein powder."
"I drank a RockStar so now I'm fine."
"Fish Oil is a crucial part of my vitamin regime."
"Smell this...is this still okay to eat?"
"I feel like you're mad about something."
"I thought 'extra virgin olive oil' and 'extra light olive oil' were the same thing."
"Tombstone is on. Sweet!"
"I hate your car."
"I ate all the buffalo chicken dip."
"Can we have sex tonight?"
What shit do the boys in your life say?
5 comments:
Yes. Genius.
Mine: "Just meat and cheese. No veggies" EVERY time he orders any food
THANK YOU for posting this! John would kill me if I ever posted something like this, but since this is basically the list I would write, I don't have to do it anymore. LOL! You're lucky he actually ASKS you before he plays with your boobs, my husband just grabs them whenever he feels like it.
There's a LOT of overlap with things M says...but there also things that are asked here that he just does without asking too :)
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