Monday, December 12, 2011

These are actual conversations...

Do you ever listen to your significant other say things and just look at them and think, really?  That happens to me all the time.  On a daily basis, things come out of the boy's mouth that make me either laugh, shake my head, or wonder if this is what I'm in for for the rest of my life.  Below are some of the things he's said and the conversations we've had:

while driving home from my parent's house:
Boy: Babe, the back of your car reminds me of your butt.
Me: Excuse me?
Boy: No, I don't mean the size....just, you know it's cute and perky.
Me: Right.....

while looking over my shoulder (which I hate) while I checked my work email:
Boy: Hey your inbox is over it's size limit.
Me: Yeah I know, I get those notices all the time.
Boy: My penis is over it's size limit.

while discussing wedding plans after we got engaged:
Me: I'd love to get married outside...and then tent the reception.
Boy: Yeah that sounds good...we could do like a BYOB thing...
Me: Excuse me? BYOB?  No.
Boy: Oh so you're thinking maybe we get some kegs?
Me: This is our wedding, not a frat party.

while parking at the mall during Christmas:
Me: Now, remember where we parked, just in case we come out another exit.
Boy: Yep I remember.  We are right in between Dick's and BJ's. (as in Dick's Sporting Goods and BJ's restaurant).  Get it babe, Dick's and BJs?!?
Me: I get it.

while watching tv together:
Boy: (turns to me) Babe, what's it like to be dating someone as sexy as me?

while watching me wrap christmas presents:
Boy: I think you should wrap presents topless.
Me: No (gives "the look")

while watching tv together:
Boy: (grabs remote) There's something I want to watch on tonight...(flips through channels)...dang, I guess it's not on.
Me: What did you want to watch?
Boy: The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.
Me: Yeah, I think that's over.
Boy: Dang it!  Why didn't you tell me?
Me: Umm, so I'm supposed to tell you when half naked supermodels are going to be on tv?
Boy: Yes.

while playing with my dog, Sawyer:
Me: I think he likes you better than me.  It's so unfair.
Boy: No, I mean, we just bond you know.
Me: How so?
Boy: Well, you know, I feed him, and I take him out, and we both pee standing up.

while seriously annoyed at him:
Me: Okay, seriously, please pick up your clothes off the floor, and can you please clean up the office like I've asked you to do a hundred times?!?
Boy: (grins) I love it when you're bossy.
Me: Oh my goodness, you annoy the shit out of me.
Boy: I know.  I love it.

while on a run together:
Me: Oh my goodness, look at our shadows.  I seriously have the biggest thighs!  Do you see my legs?
Boy:  I like your legs.
Me: Whatever.
Boy: You know, someday if we have kids, I hope they have....(stops and thinks for a second) legs and your long fingers.
Me: My long fingers?  That's the best you could come up with?

while watching football:
Boy: Did you know that in order to become an NFL football ref, you only have to have 10 years of coaching experience, 5 years on a Varsity collegiate level or higher, or previously coach or play NFL football?
Me:  What do you mean "that's all"?  That's a lot.
Boy: Yeah, but I'm just saying, I could just do it, you know?
Me: Did you want to be a football ref?
Boy: Yeah.  I mean, you'd be alright with that, right?
Me: If you quit your job and reffed football?
Boy: yeah.
Me: Sure, go ahead.

while getting ready for bed, while I'm sick:
Me: (laying in bed with glasses on, dirty hair, kleenex shoved up me nose)
Boy: (looks at me) See, this is what they don't put in the Victoria's Secret Catalogue.

Seriously, what am I going to with him?  Not sure, but I suppose I'll keep him around and see what happens... :-)


Zach Lo said...

No worries brother...I got it on the DVR.

emenchho said...

hahaha...those were funny conversations. Sounds like you have some interesting days ahead, but I can tell you love it! ;)

Amanda said...

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH! These are very similar convos that M and I have. Typical but hilarious :)

Bre said...

So awesome! He's such a sweet talker. LOL!

Elizabeth said...

Ha! Love all of these!

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