It's Tuesday and I'm a Nerd

Greetings!  Welcome to my Tuesday...it's pretty random.

First things first....I think it's important for you to know that I am a HUGE loser.  Why, you ask?  Well, aside from the obvious - I feel it's important to tell you that I have read 5...FIVE....books in the last 7 days.  We are not talking about kids books or ones with only pictures.  We are talking about actual full-length novels.  This means that not only am I a giant nerd, I have been neglecting everything in my silly  life.  That includes meals, cleaning house, this blog, and unfortunately my husband as well.

Alternatively, my husband is now on the 3rd chapter of the book he began in mid-November.  He reads exactly seven sentences a night before falling asleep face down on his pillow. Clearly we are cut from 2 different cloths.

Even now, having just finished my most recent book choice, I am wondering what to read next.  I think I may have seen smoke coming off of my Kindle after that last download.  It's begging for rest.  But sadly, I am an addict.  And I am counting on some of my fellow bloggers to help feed my addiction.  How?  Book recommendations.  I need them.  I promise after this last one, I'll quit.  Maybe.

Source: Uploaded by user via Janet on Pinterest

Moving on....

I've had a hankering lately to make a big purchase.  What kind of purchase?  I'm not sure.  I have this itch to by myself something expensive, and have to remind myself daily, "Self, STFU...you just bought a car and need nothing else."  My Self is right.  I don't need anything.  But I want.  I want an expensive pair of sunglasses, a purse, a watch, new clothes, and to lose 10 lbs.

Okay, that last thing isn't a purchase, but I still want it.

Source: Uploaded by user via Lifetime TV on Pinterest

Have I come into money?  No.  Did I have a blow out commission in December?  Not so much.  The only explanation is that I've lost my mind.  Buying expensive things like that is so. not. me.  It's like I woke up on January 1 with an urge to set all my money on fire and read a bunch of crap.  Who am I?



Lastly, now that it is January and I am setting nicely into my seasonal affective disorder, I am hankering for a vacation to somewhere warm.  I need vitamin D in my life!  But alas we've come full circle because if I book a vacation, I'm going to want to buy expensive things to take on said vacation where I will ultimately lay on a lounge chair and read my books.  Clearly there is no helping me.

Source: readingforrobin.files.wordpress.com via Limeaide724♥TM♥ on Pinterest

That's pretty much all I got today.  I'm really sorry if you read this whole post.  It's was weird and random.  I blame it on the Novocaine from the cavity I had filled earlier.  I always ask for extra shots!

Good Wife's Guide - 2012 Edition

I think by now most of us have at one time or another seen the 1950's article, The good wife's guide, that was published in a 1950s issue of Good Housekeeping....gag me, I know.  While it's kind of funny to go back and re-read those silly articles from back then, I think it's about time that I made a few edits to those old school rules...you know to keep up with the times.  So, without further ado, here is my 2012 version of The good wife's guide.

1955 Rule: Have dinner ready.  Plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return.  This is a way of letting him know that you've been thinking of him and are concerned about his needs.  Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

2012 Rule:  Have a drink ready.  Plan ahead and make sure you have his favorite cheap bourbon fully stocked.  This is a way of letting him know that you're planning on getting sauced, and it's more fun if he's drinking too.

1955 Rule: Prepare yourself.  Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives.  Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking.  He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

2012 Rule: Prepare yourself.  Take 15 minutes to survey the house for things he was supposed to clean/put away before work but forgot.  Put on sweatpants and get comfy.  You've had a long day with work-weary people and you're ready to yell at someone.

1955 Rule: Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him.  His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

2012 Rule: Be a little gay and more interesting for him.  He'll be eager to discuss the latest drama at your office, facebook politics, and any other gossip you may have picked up on during your day.  He's been with other professionals all day and could use a break from "work talk" to discuss your day.

1955 Rule: Clear away the clutter.  Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

2012 Rule: Clear away the dishes he left in the sink from breakfast.  Make a mental note to condescendingly remind him how the dishwasher works in case he needs a refresher.

1955 Rule: Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc. and then run a cloth over the tables.

2012 Rule:  Gather up all the shit he owns that you don't like and throw it away before he gets home.  Run through his drawers and grab up old boxers, t-shirts, and socks he insists on wearing, despite being riddled with holes.  Throw those away too.

1955 Rule: Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by.  Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.  After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

2012 Rule: Over the cooler months, prepare a basket of your favorite lotions and leave them in the main room of the house.  Your husband will know that this is a haven of rest for your tired feet and he would do well to massage them.  After all, watching him cater to your comfort will provide you an immense amount of personal satisfaction.

1955 Rule: Prepare the children.  Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes.  They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.  Minimize all noise.  At the time of his arrival, eliminate all the noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum.  Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

2012 Rule: Prepare the dogs.  Send your husband a warning message letting him know they've been barking their heads off all night and their allergies are causing their eyes to profusely drip.  Let him know you're exhausted and it's his responsibility to deal with them when he gets home.
 
1955 Rule: Be happy to see him.

2012 Rule:  Be happy to see him, but let him know he's already on thin ice.

1955 Rule: Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

2012 Rule:  Greet him with a warm smile that lets him know if he plays his cards right, you may consider letting him have the sexy time. 

1955 Rule: Listen to him.  You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time.  Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

2012 Rule: Listen to him.  You may have a dozen things to nag him about, but it's important to let him talk first as this allows you to not only build up your case against him, but ensures you'll also have the last word.

1955 Rule: Make the evening his.  Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you.  Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

2012 Rule: Make him think the evening is his.  You'll both know it's really not.  Allow him to go out with friends for wings and beer...for a price.  Use this as leverage to get something else you want. 

1955 Rule: Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

2012 Rule: Your goal: Try to make your home a place of peace, order and tranquility so your husband knows just how good he has it with you.

1955 Rule: Don't greet him with complaints or problems.

2012 Rule:  Don't greet him with complaints and problems - he will be well aware of them before he gets home due to your text messages/tweets/facebook posts.

1955 Rule: Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night.  Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

2012 Rule: Don't complain if he stays out all night.  Your silence will scare him more than anything, and it will be minor compared to the punishment you'll have in store for him

1955 Rule: Make him comfortable.  Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom.  Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

2012 Rule: Make him comfortable.  Let him relax on the couch and enjoy a drink or two before you ask for a back massage.

1955 Rule: Arrange his pillows and offer to take his shoes.  Speak in a low, soothing, and pleasant voice.

2012 Rule: Arrange the pillows and blankets on the couch for your comfort.  Offer to take the remote from him if he doesn't change the f'ing TV to something other than Sports Center.  Speak in a low, soothing, and pleasant tone so he doesn't accuse you of being "bitchy."

1955 Rule: Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity.  Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.  You have no right to question him

2012 Rule:  Don't ask him questions about his internet browser history, and in turn he probably won't ask you about the new dress hanging in the closet, or how much the bag full of fall scented Bath & Body Works candles you just brought home was.  He knows you're the master of the house, and you will always exercise your will with fairness...probably if you're feeling like it.  He has no right to question you...or your credit card statement.

1955 Rule: A good wife always knows her place.

2012 Rule: A good wife always lets her husband know his place.

If You Really Knew Me - A Guest Post from the Boy

I had been mulling around with the idea of having the boy do a little guest post, and thought it would be perfect for him to do his own version of the "If You Really Knew Me" theme that many of my fellow bloggers have been participating in.  I originally saw this on Kelly's blog, and I think Kelly saw it somewhere else.  Regardless...it was a cute idea and I couldn't pass it up!  So without further ado, here is what my husband wrote (verbatim)...

1

If you really knew Taryn you would know that she really loves our dogs.  She calls them our furry children.  And she means it. 

 

 

 

 

2

If you really knew Taryn, she is really cute when she doesn't even know it.  Example: when we are relaxing on the couch at the end of the night, she looks at at me with her glasses on the tip of her nose, sweatpants and old t-shirt on wrapped up in a blanket playing on her laptop.  She looks at me and wonders why I can't stop staring at her.

 

 

 

3

If you really knew Taryn, you would know that she is an all caring all loving person.  She has a wall that you have to get around but its only a test/challenge to see if your up to it. 

 

 

 

4

If you really knew Taryn, she loves the dumbest shows.  I came home the other night to her watching Laguna Beach, which if you're not familiar "it" would be a rerun of a reality tv show from 2003.  I know I am shaking my head also. 

 

 

5

If you really knew Taryn, she is a major planner. She plans out her days, vacations, and holidays.  She is always listens to what everyone wants to do, but leave the fine details to her.

 

 

 

6

If you really knew Taryn, she always gives the most thought out gifts, the most well written birthday cards and everyone looks forward to her presents. 

 

 

 

 

7

If you really knew Taryn, you would know she loves to write. Writing for Taryn is her therapy session, and a chance for her to get things off her chest.  She has been given a gift to creatively put down in words her thoughts.  I just can't wait till she has her best-selling novel.  Please purchase it in hard back, don't be cheap and get the paper back. 

 

8

If you really knew Taryn, you would know that she has cried in the cat aisle at Petsmart

 

 

 

9

If you really knew Taryn, you would know that she has adjusted her bra in front of a window looking into a store. Then said, well I guess they got a show.

 

 

 

10

If you really knew Taryn, she really really loves me.

 

 

 

A Case of the Mondays

Per my usual, I have been missing in action for the majority of the month.  Sorry I am really out of excuses for that.  The past few weekends have been jam-packed with things, and this past weekend was no different.  K and I drove 2 hours to the Ikea in West Chester, Ohio on Saturday to look for wedding stuff for our tables (it really is the way to go...). 

True story: the last time the boy allowed me to drag him to Ikea was a year ago right as I was getting over the flu.  The 45 minutes we spent walking the showroom was the most physical activity I had gotten in over a week and it was quite exhausting.  I bought a dresser, 2 standing shelves, and a shelving unit for the bathroom.  By the time we got it home, I was too tired to help him put it together.  Fortunately, K was all too happy to put together my 5 drawer dresser with nothing more than an allen wrench, while I layed down on my bed and alternated between "resting" and reminding him that Ikea was a Swedish-based company every time he said "Damn the Japanese!"  After that, K put a one year ban on any future trips to Ikea.

Anyways, the Ikea ban was lifted just in time for us to pick up several items for our reception tables so we could put together everything and decide what we liked.  I also picked up a new rug for our living room from the Ballard Design outlet that was 5 minutes away....seriously love everything in that store.  We made it home unscathed and without any furniture to assemble, so after a brief 20 minute nap we took showers and went out for a much needed date night to Table Three Ten.

Sunday was another busy day for us being that it was the Trashcar kick-off (for the boy) and the Academy Awards (for me).  After breakfast and a great 3-mile run in beautiful weather, K and I headed to Joseph A. Banks to look for suits for the wedding party.  Sadly, the Daytona 500 was postponed due to rain and we got an extra 4 hours of our lives back, just in time for me to enjoy a Mimosa at Harry's and take the boy with me to go grocery shopping for the week.  It will probably be the last time we hang out for a while since I am seriously thinking of dumping him until the Nascar season is over.  I seriously cannot handle that crap. 

So that was our big weekend, and now it's Monday, so excuse me while I go bang my head against my desk.  In the meantime, here are some funnies for you to enjoy....

Me and my blog

Mornin' world!  For a change of pace this morning, I am linking up with Neely at A Complete Waste of Make-Up for a 'lil "getting to know you" post. 
 


When I started this little blog of mine, it never really occurred to me to "introduce" myself seeing as most of the people reading it were family members and that boy I live with, but as it's grown (not by much, but grown nonetheless), I thought this link up might be a great time to share a little about myself and why I blog. 

1. Why do I blog??

Source: flickr.com via Erica on Pinterest

I started this blog for a lot of reasons.  First and foremost, I like to write....I always have.  When I was younger and I got asked "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I always envisioned myself working for a cool magazine and being some fabulous Carrie-Bradshaw-esque columnist.  When I went to college, I started out as a journalism major, but quickly realized they didn't offer any classes on writing about your butt jiggle or your obsession with chocolate or your assertion that you may be dating a lab puppy.  So, after a few semesters, I changed my major and bid adieu to my career in writing. 

That's one reason I blog.  And if I am being honest....it's a very very small reason.  The main reason is that I have the most random thoughts.  I guess I must have this inner monologue that continuously spews random thoughts, ideas, and sarcasm.  I needed an outlet for that.  And mostly I wanted to see if anyone else in the world was as strange as I am and figured blogging was a great way to find out.

2. What is my blog about??

Nothing.  True story.  My blog is the "Seinfeld"of blogs.  It's not really about anything.  I have no fashion tips or make-up tutorials, and I don't live anywhere remotely interesting that would allow me to post things like "Taryn's adventures in the big city!".  I simply write about my life and the people in it, and what I'm up to, and occasionally throw a picture in of my dog taking a nap. 

3. So, who the heck am I?

I'm Taryn.  I mean, that's my name anyways.  I'm in my late-ish 20's, and I live in Lexington, KY (well, Nicholasville, KY but let's not get technical okay?) with my fiance and our dogs.  I have a job as an outside sales rep...that involves meeting with people and selling them things so I can, in turn, bring money home and buy things.  If you couldn't tell....I don't blog about work.  This blog is not about my professional life (other than my career as a future model).  I have two sisters and a brother, and parents too.  I also have 2 nephews that pretty much melt my heart. 

I am dry and sarcastic and a lot of my blogs are satirical in nature.  That's just me.  I am fiercely close with my family, and despite the ridiculous things I post about the boy I'm supposed to marry, I love him more than anything (and I have a sneaky suspicion he loves me too).  I moved in with my fiance in October and have been spending most of my free time (when I'm not working) going through boxes of my fiance's nonsense and trying to explain to him why we don't have room in our very (very) modest sized home for more than one moving box full of old printer cords, his 2010 "papers" including every utility bill and receipt from the year, and a framed picture of his high school football team. 

4.  What are my hobbies?

Truth be told I don't have a lot of hobbies that have survived into my adult life.  The only "hobby" I make time for on a daily basis is the gym.  I use the term "hobby" loosely in that situation because although I do not enjoy working out, I really can't stand not doing it.  I mentioned in my last post about how much I love to read, but sadly even that has taken a backseat to exhaustion most days.  I guess blogging would be my only real hobby that I really try to keep at...well, sort of.  I must admit that my blog has taken a backseat to wedding stuff lately.  And let's be clear - wedding planning is NOT a hobby.  It's a chore.  I promise you that.  Don't get me wrong, I am ecstatic to marry my guy, but if I had it my way, I would love to just fast forward to the wedding (without me having to plan it), and our married life together.  I long for the days when I could sit on the couch at night and not feel obligated to do something wedding-related or guilty because I wasn't doing something wedding-related. 

5.  What's my favorite thing to blog about?

I could probably dedicate an entire blog to the ridiculous and puzzling conversations that happen between me and the boy.  Here's a topic of conversation that comes up frequently...I call it The Great Underwear Debate.  I am curious if anyone else has had a similar conversation with their boyfriend/fiance/husband?

While getting ready for "date night" one night...

K: Are those the underwear you're going to wear?

Me: Yeah...why, what's wrong with them?

K: Nothing.  I was just curious.

Me:  Seriously?  These are cute underwear...

K: I didn't say anything...

Me:  You don't like them?

K: They're fine...

Me: What's wrong with them?

K:  They're granny panties.

Me: No they're not!  These are cute underwear!  And they're really comfy!  My grandmother would not wear these...

K:  Let me explain something to you....guys only break underwear down into 2 categories: "Granny panties" and "I'm gonna get some panties".

Me: That's stupid.  There are way more than 2 categories.  There's your cute everyday underwear, your thong underwear, your kinda sexy underwear, your super sexy underwear, and your I'm feeling fat underwear. 

K: And what are those that you have on?

Me: My cute everyday underwear.  Let's be honest...we're having dinner at the Copper River in Nicholasville...i don't think that calls for lace. 

Oh, and to be clear, these cute Vicky's Secret undies are my "cute everyday underwear":

Am I way off base here?

See....these are the things I need the blog world for...to let me know when I'm crazy, or to reassure me that I'm marrying a weirdo. 

Anywho...I hope you non-family member blog readers of mine enjoyed learning a little more about me, and for those of you who may be stopping by, I'm glad to have you!  Feel free to stay a while and make yourself at home!

Steve Martin totally gets me...

These are actual conversations...

Do you ever listen to your significant other say things and just look at them and think, really?  That happens to me all the time.  On a daily basis, things come out of the boy's mouth that make me either laugh, shake my head, or wonder if this is what I'm in for for the rest of my life.  Below are some of the things he's said and the conversations we've had:


while driving home from my parent's house:
Boy: Babe, the back of your car reminds me of your butt.
Me: Excuse me?
Boy: No, I don't mean the size....just, you know it's cute and perky.
Me: Right.....

while looking over my shoulder (which I hate) while I checked my work email:
Boy: Hey your inbox is over it's size limit.
Me: Yeah I know, I get those notices all the time.
Boy: My penis is over it's size limit.

while discussing wedding plans after we got engaged:
Me: I'd love to get married outside...and then tent the reception.
Boy: Yeah that sounds good...we could do like a BYOB thing...
Me: Excuse me? BYOB?  No.
Boy: Oh so you're thinking maybe we get some kegs?
Me: This is our wedding, not a frat party.

while parking at the mall during Christmas:
Me: Now, remember where we parked, just in case we come out another exit.
Boy: Yep I remember.  We are right in between Dick's and BJ's. (as in Dick's Sporting Goods and BJ's restaurant).  Get it babe, Dick's and BJs?!?
Me: I get it.

while watching tv together:
Boy: (turns to me) Babe, what's it like to be dating someone as sexy as me?

while watching me wrap christmas presents:
Boy: I think you should wrap presents topless.
Me: No (gives "the look")

while watching tv together:
Boy: (grabs remote) There's something I want to watch on tonight...(flips through channels)...dang, I guess it's not on.
Me: What did you want to watch?
Boy: The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.
Me: Yeah, I think that's over.
Boy: Dang it!  Why didn't you tell me?
Me: Umm, so I'm supposed to tell you when half naked supermodels are going to be on tv?
Boy: Yes.

while playing with my dog, Sawyer:
Me: I think he likes you better than me.  It's so unfair.
Boy: No, I mean, we just bond you know.
Me: How so?
Boy: Well, you know, I feed him, and I take him out, and we both pee standing up.

while seriously annoyed at him:
Me: Okay, seriously, please pick up your clothes off the floor, and can you please clean up the office like I've asked you to do a hundred times?!?
Boy: (grins) I love it when you're bossy.
Me: Oh my goodness, you annoy the shit out of me.
Boy: I know.  I love it.

while on a run together:
Me: Oh my goodness, look at our shadows.  I seriously have the biggest thighs!  Do you see my legs?
Boy:  I like your legs.
Me: Whatever.
Boy: You know, someday if we have kids, I hope they have....(stops and thinks for a second)...my legs and your long fingers.
Me: My long fingers?  That's the best you could come up with?

while watching football:
Boy: Did you know that in order to become an NFL football ref, you only have to have 10 years of coaching experience, 5 years on a Varsity collegiate level or higher, or previously coach or play NFL football?
Me:  What do you mean "that's all"?  That's a lot.
Boy: Yeah, but I'm just saying, I could just do it, you know?
Me: Did you want to be a football ref?
Boy: Yeah.  I mean, you'd be alright with that, right?
Me: If you quit your job and reffed football?
Boy: yeah.
Me: Sure, go ahead.

while getting ready for bed, while I'm sick:
Me: (laying in bed with glasses on, dirty hair, kleenex shoved up me nose)
Boy: (looks at me) See, this is what they don't put in the Victoria's Secret Catalogue.



Seriously, what am I going to with him?  Not sure, but I suppose I'll keep him around and see what happens... :-)

Vodka Mondays

So, today I've decided to try out something new.  There's not really a name for it, and it's not really anything new or special, but I've decided to call it "Vodka Mondays".  While my normal go to, wind down, beverage of choice during the week is typically a glass of vino (red or white, I care not), I've come to the conclusion that wine is no longer adequate for Mondays.  For Mondays I need something a 'lil stronger.  True story.  So I've decided my new thing is Vodka Mondays.  Here is the recipe:

1 The fixins!

I had no limes, but improvised with Rose's lime juice.  Well hello vodka tonic...how I've missed you!

2 Ummm...ME!  (Duh)

3 La computadora

I threw in an apple spice candle for good measure

So those are the main ingredients for Vodka Mondays.  Although, clearly, if you were to participate yourself, you would be providing your own vodka and ingredient 2 would be you, and you would be using your computer for number 3....unless you live in Lexington, and if so then feel free to come drink vodka with me.  For serious.  So now that I have all the necessary measures in place, this is the part where I just have blog vomit on all of you and discuss all things random, big and small.  Here goes:

-In a few minutes I will be faced with the inevitable "What should I have for dinner?" question.  Earlier this evening I took stock of the contents of my fridge and am pretty sure my dinner options are:

1. Salad

2. Meatballs

3. Salad with meatballs

-What the crap are they referring to when they say "pumped up kicks" anyways ?  The only thing that comes to mind are these...

Umm...hello!  Does anyone else remember the Reebok Pump?  Are these cool again?  Everytime I turn on the radio they're singin' about em...

-If there is anything more distracting than a shiny diamond, it is a diamond that don't shine.  I have been seriously annoyed with how unbelievably dirty my ring gets.  Several people suggested cleaning it with toothpaste, but I am not sure it is as clean as I get it with dish soap.  Any recommendations?

Not clean enough!  How can I get my Tacori to shine???

-Has anyone yet invented something that allows you to double yourself during the day and send your doppleganger to work while the real you stays home and naps and watches old episodes of SATC and Will & Grace?  It's been a while since I've had a moment to check in with what's going on in the world, so I figured I would ask whether that invention exists yet.  Y'all would let me know, right?

-Last weekend I spent Thursday-Sunday in Atlanta with all the women in my family.  We were celebrating my Grandma's 70th birthday and my sister's first baby shower.  On Friday evening I took off my scarf that I had worn all day and draped it across a chair.  My grandma put it on and wore it for a couple hours.  When I wore it to work last week, I noticed it smelled like her.  It was the best day.

All the gals...Cali girls, Texas sweeties, Georgia Peaches, and Kentucky Belles.

-Is this a cry for help?

No judgement, right??

-I am seriously missing these gals right now...

Sometimes life gets in the way of all the fun things you'd rather be doing with your best gals.  Praying things slow down soon!

-Sometimes I think this guy just spends all his free time thinking up ways to drive me bananas...literally.  Sometimes we wake up and I'm almost positive he thought up things he could do to push my buttons in his sleep.  Good thing he's super cute and I love him....it tends to work in his favor.

Why does he always look like he's up to something?!!

Anyways, I really have no more to say on this inaugural Vodka Monday.  What's your vodka drink of choice?  Do you despise Mondays as much as I do?  What random blog vomit are you wanting to share tonight???

I'm a model, ya know what I mean?

Okay, so something BIG happened today.  Seriously....huge.  Today, I was "discovered".  Oh yes, friends...'tis true!  For so long I have been contemplating whether working in sales was my true calling, and today I got my answer when I met Tyler. 

Who is Tyler, you ask?  Why, he is only the highly professional, super talented, photographer that discovered me at the Speedway gas station this morning.  Duh.

Here I was, pulling in to the Speedway to put a little gas in the Matrix, and little did I know that my life (and career path) were about to change!  As I was replacing the pump back in the nozzle, Tyler shuffled himself on over to me and said something to the effect of "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice...with your height and your long hair...that YOU could be a model."  Then he handed me a paper towel with his name, number and websites written on it and said, "Check out my websites, and if you like what  you see, give me a call." 

At first, I was thinking, "yeah right, total scam", but after thinking about the last 5 minutes of my drive to work I realized that Tyler must be legit.  I mean who, other than a 100% professional photographer, would notice me at a gas station, approach me on a 50 degree morning in cargo shorts and a t-shirt, and take the time to write his business information on the back of a windshield paper towel??  If that mental assurance wasn't enough, I decided to take him up on his offer to "check out my websites" and see if I liked what I saw. 

If the images weren't enough to convince me that this man was legit, statements such as these in his photgrapher profile, certainly sealed the deal...

"The STEELERS Rock!"

"Main Passion is working with/for MATURE MODELS 40 & Above! Rarely Will I work with Minors!"

"I Have LOCATIONS, 2nd to None!"

"When You're In Front of My Camera, You're The Most Hottest Beautiful Girl in the World, & Princess of The Universe!"

I think it's safe to say that you can expect some serious life changes on the way for this 'lil blogger once my modeling career takes off!  Stay tuned!

Catching Up...and it's random...

Not much new with me kiddos...other than the usual that is: crazy busy at work, crazy busy with house projects, and just plain bizz-ay.  Ya digg?  Anyways, in an effort to bore you senseless, how about a 'lil recap of my fabulous life?  Okay great!

Thursday:
Since Thursday was the official kick-off of the NFL, I, being the gracious and thoughtful gal that I am, decided it would only be right to make a big pot of chili for the boy and the brother.  It was healthy chili, of course.  I substitute the ground beef for ground turkey and load it up with tons of veggies too.  Don't worry, it's still delicious...

The finished product! Email me if you want my chili recipe :)



Of course, after dinner, I packaged up the leftovers and sent them with the boy to work for the next couple days.  I got follow up texts both Friday and Saturday once again reminding me that my chili was delicious...not to mention the text I got on Friday from the boy to the effect of "Hey I have hot dogs at work, and your chili!  Chili dogs!"....so much for a healthy meal. 

Friday:
All I remember about Friday was that work was cray-cray.  I hit my wall around 3:30pm, which is right about the time I lost my mind and tried to send this word in an email...

....thank you spell check.  And thank you more to Fridays at 5:00pm...I love you. 

I had planned to spend some quality time with this cute guy on Friday...

...but he had to stay late at work with a customer....Oh the joys of retail!  He literally got to my place around 10:00...an hour later than expected and just enough time for my to give him a kiss before I turned into a pumpkin and had to go to sleep.  Boo :-(

Saturday:
Ugh...don't be jealous of me, but on Saturday, I got to go paint the bathroom at the boy's house while he was at work.  The guest bath was this horrible Scorsese red that I tried to avoid when I was at his house, partly because he never cleans it, but mostly because it's the kind of red that gives you nightmares...yeah, like the shower scene in psycho nightmares....true story.  So, in an effort to keep the housing projects moving, I have to take care of some of the things while he's at work since we rarely have days off together. 

Let me tell ya, because I had both mine and his dog at the house during my de-nightmaring of the bathroom, I had to paint with the door closed.  Umm, pretty sure I sweat more during the hour and a half I was in that tiny bathroom than I did during the 10 miles I did on the bike earlier that day.  No really, the mirror completely fogged up...I kid you not. 

After the painting was finally over, I worked on cleaning the boys house...I will spare you the details of that disaster, but let's just say, a discussion has been had about cleanliness, and that was that.  I will say, in his defense, we don't spend a whole lot of time at his place right now since mine is closer to both our offices, and to pretty much everything else we would want to do.  So he doesn't get much of an opportunity to do many household chores (since he's busy doing them at mine)...

By the way, in case I haven't mentioned it......I HATE PAINTING.  Just had to get that off my chest.  We've so far painted the kitchen, living room, master bedroom, master bathroom, hallway and entryway, and now the guest bathroom.  Ugh...and next up is the guest bedroom.  Pray for me. 

See what I mean?? Ruin my mani, why don't ya...

Saturday night was our first date night in about a thousand years...seriously.  I cannot remember the last time K and me went somewhere, just the two of us, other than the gym or the grocery store (that doesn't count).  Since he got off work at a reasonable hour on Saturday and I was ready for a glass or wine or ten, we hit up one of our new favorite little tapas restaurants and wine bar in Nicholasville.  Yeah, there is actually a tapas restaurant in Nicholasville...I am as surprised as you are.  Since we like it so much, I feel confident that it will close as soon as I move to Nicholasville...so in the spirit of enjoying good things while they last, we had a lovely dinner together.  Lucky for us, there was some kind of fall festival happening in downtown Nicholasville, so along with my wine and cheese platter, I got to enjoy a lovely view of the passersby.  Pretty sure I counted no fewer than 50 men in wife beaters and at least half a dozen toddlers carrying around bottles filled with Mountain Dew, but everyone seemed to be in good spirits, including myself. 

Unfortunately, as dinner was coming to an end, I got an excruciating headache (you know, the ones that just linger right behind your eyes...) and we had to go home and veg out after that.  We ordered "Something Borrowed" on demand...ummm, wow.  Pretty sure even if I hadn't read the book, I would still think the movie stunk.  It really was a toss us between what was more painful...my headache, or the horrific movie adaptation of what was a delightful beach read.  And can we talk about Kate Hudson?  When did she stop being adorable???

Sunday:
I can't say much about my Sunday.  For the first time in at least a month, I allowed myself to just relax.  Okay, I say that, but by relax, I mean lay in bed and watch 9/11 specials all day and cry every time the State Farm commercial came on with the kids singing to Jay-Z.  Promise.  I did manage to make it to the grocery to at one point, and more importantly, paint my toenails before finally making it out of my bed cocoon and join the normal world for dinner. 

Monday:
Work....and lots of it.  I barely had time to eat my Chobani today I was so busy.  It was a total Monday.  After work I sweat it out with my co-worker and friend, Hilary, at the gym and headed home for dinner.  The boy and me came up with a to-do list of things we need to get done this week before we install the new flooring we bought for his house this weekend.  The to-do lists NEVER end.  After that, I sat down on that couch and enjoyed my puppy dog (okay, I get that at 110 lbs. he is not a puppy, but whatev...).  Turns out Sawyer had a busy day too.  After sleeping on my couch (which he's not allowed on, kinda) for 9 consecutive hours, he ate dinner, went potty and proceeded to take turns waiting for K and me to drop pieces of our dinner on the floor and barking at the front door for an hour.  After chewing on his bone and eating a dryer sheet, he was pretty much spent and decided he needed a 'lil nap.

Anyways, that's pretty much been my life for the past few days.  What have my dear readers been up to??

I need an intervention!

Okay folks, time for an intervention.  Like, for serious. 

First off, I know you're probably all thinking that I need an intervention for being a bad blogger.  No arguments there.  I feel like I haven't had five minutes to myself the last week to sit and read any blogs, let alone write any coherent thoughts.  Sorry.  I'll do better....I think....I hope.  I really hope.

Bad blogging aside, I fully expect to come home anytime to an intervention banner for any of the following reasons:

ONE

Skittles!  Why are they so good?  Yet sooooo bad?!?!  The boy's original proposal idea involved skittles which means that we had 2 jumbo size bags at my house just begging me to eat them until I overdose on the rainbow.  No seriously, I'm pretty sure I hear them talking to me from the cabinet they are in....you know, that little whisper, "Taste the rainbow, Taryn.  You know you want to."  And I do want to.  And I have tasted the rainbow and tasted it some more....and guess what: The rainbow is making me fat.  And it's giving me cavities, I'm sure.  The first bag is gone.  The second one will be soon enough.  The boy tried to help by hiding them.  It nearly ended our engagement.  I may be beyond help.

TWO

(Please don't judge me too harshly for this one...)

This is what my toenails look like right now.  I need a pedicure intervention.  I realize that it is summer and the fact that I have continued to wear sandals with my tootsies looking like this is nothing short of repulsive.  I literally have not had time.  I know...feel free to take away my "girl card" for this one.  I deserve it.  Or you can stage an intervention for me and send me a gift card to any number of credible lexington salons where I can rectify my toe skank.  And yes....that is a missing toe-nail on my right foot.  It happens about once a year from running.  Say it with me now...."Cry for help". 

THREE

I swear my life feels like a Cathy comic strip right now.  I feel stress about everything, especially making the "big" wedding decisions...venue, caterer, dress, honeymoon, rentals, bridesmaid dresses, etc.  The decorations and details will come later.  Right now I do not care about that.  I cannot tell you how not fun the whole looking for a venue thing was...there were no dates available anywhere it seems.  Ugh!  Now that we have that figured out, the dress is next up on the list...too bad me, my mom, and my sister cannot find a coordinating weekend in any of our schedules to dress shop for almost 2 months!  I'm not a particularly sappy or sentimental person, but dress shopping with them is one thing I don't want to forgo.  They know my style better than anyone, and I don't want to make the decision alone.  I am a very decisive person, so I know I won't have trouble making the decisions once I see my options, but who has the time to see the options???!!!  Not this girl.  Not at all.  I'm worried this may be me pretty soon:



Ugh...let's just call Gabe at the Steak Pit.

So, all things considered, I suppose my life can be summed up pretty easily: bad blogger, skittles, skittles, skittles, need a pedicure, no time for anything, Gabe at the Steak Pit. 

I promise I'll return to normal soon.  Maybe.