Vodka Mondays

So, today I've decided to try out something new.  There's not really a name for it, and it's not really anything new or special, but I've decided to call it "Vodka Mondays".  While my normal go to, wind down, beverage of choice during the week is typically a glass of vino (red or white, I care not), I've come to the conclusion that wine is no longer adequate for Mondays.  For Mondays I need something a 'lil stronger.  True story.  So I've decided my new thing is Vodka Mondays.  Here is the recipe:

1 The fixins!

I had no limes, but improvised with Rose's lime juice.  Well hello vodka tonic...how I've missed you!

2 Ummm...ME!  (Duh)

3 La computadora

I threw in an apple spice candle for good measure

So those are the main ingredients for Vodka Mondays.  Although, clearly, if you were to participate yourself, you would be providing your own vodka and ingredient 2 would be you, and you would be using your computer for number 3....unless you live in Lexington, and if so then feel free to come drink vodka with me.  For serious.  So now that I have all the necessary measures in place, this is the part where I just have blog vomit on all of you and discuss all things random, big and small.  Here goes:

-In a few minutes I will be faced with the inevitable "What should I have for dinner?" question.  Earlier this evening I took stock of the contents of my fridge and am pretty sure my dinner options are:

1. Salad

2. Meatballs

3. Salad with meatballs

-What the crap are they referring to when they say "pumped up kicks" anyways ?  The only thing that comes to mind are these...

Umm...hello!  Does anyone else remember the Reebok Pump?  Are these cool again?  Everytime I turn on the radio they're singin' about em...

-If there is anything more distracting than a shiny diamond, it is a diamond that don't shine.  I have been seriously annoyed with how unbelievably dirty my ring gets.  Several people suggested cleaning it with toothpaste, but I am not sure it is as clean as I get it with dish soap.  Any recommendations?

Not clean enough!  How can I get my Tacori to shine???

-Has anyone yet invented something that allows you to double yourself during the day and send your doppleganger to work while the real you stays home and naps and watches old episodes of SATC and Will & Grace?  It's been a while since I've had a moment to check in with what's going on in the world, so I figured I would ask whether that invention exists yet.  Y'all would let me know, right?

-Last weekend I spent Thursday-Sunday in Atlanta with all the women in my family.  We were celebrating my Grandma's 70th birthday and my sister's first baby shower.  On Friday evening I took off my scarf that I had worn all day and draped it across a chair.  My grandma put it on and wore it for a couple hours.  When I wore it to work last week, I noticed it smelled like her.  It was the best day.

All the gals...Cali girls, Texas sweeties, Georgia Peaches, and Kentucky Belles.

-Is this a cry for help?

No judgement, right??

-I am seriously missing these gals right now...

Sometimes life gets in the way of all the fun things you'd rather be doing with your best gals.  Praying things slow down soon!

-Sometimes I think this guy just spends all his free time thinking up ways to drive me bananas...literally.  Sometimes we wake up and I'm almost positive he thought up things he could do to push my buttons in his sleep.  Good thing he's super cute and I love him....it tends to work in his favor.

Why does he always look like he's up to something?!!

Anyways, I really have no more to say on this inaugural Vodka Monday.  What's your vodka drink of choice?  Do you despise Mondays as much as I do?  What random blog vomit are you wanting to share tonight???

Like a fine wine..

Like a fine wine, we get better with age.  And so do our friendships.  At least mine anyway. 

Today I celebrate a very special birthday for my dearest friend Whitney....

It would be hard for me to acurately describe our friendship, but let's just say it's the "I need your help disposing of this body" kind of friendship....and those are pretty rare from what I understand.

Me and the fabulous birthday girl :-)

As I sit here trying to think of the best way I know how to describe my dear friend, I realize that words fail me.  We've been through a lot over the years and watched many birthdays come and go, and each year I feel more grateful for the gift of true friendship.  I could put up a bunch of pictures of us and our crazy shenanagans over the years, but it wouldn't even give you a glimpse of what we've been through, and the secrets we share, and the laughs we've had....

So I will say simply, happy birthday to my best friend....I am so grateful for you!

"Kindred Spirits" via Story People

Weekend Recap

Ummm...Mondays (for lack of a better word) suck.  My work phone started blowing up before I even got out of my car this morning, and by 10:00am, I felt like banging my head against my desk for a good hour.  After I decided against that as a remedy for my Monday morning angst, I decided to reminisce over my non-sucky weekend...

As mentioned in previous post, I spent my Friday evening with the boy enjoying the evening outside, wine in hand, grill fired up.  It was delightful.  Please reminisce with me for a moment...

Ahhh, the joys of summer nights and Sauvignon Blanc.  Side note...I tried a recipe on Friday evening inspired by this post from Christi over at Burlap and Basil.  It was delicious!   You must head over there and check out her fab recipies AND her July giftaway....it's delightful!

YUMMY!!!!

Saturday day was rather uneventful for me, except for the awesome deals I got at Ulta!  But first a little back story on this....

A few months ago after hearing a story about his cousin getting 27 bars of soap for free at Wal-Mart or something, the boy decided he needed to become an extreme couponer (the extreme part being that we didn't use coupons before and now we do...).  So now he gets the Sunday paper and clips out coupons for which we now have this beauty...

I will admit that at first I found this new "hobby" unbelievably annoying, and mostly a hassle in that it involved me constantly cleaning up mutilated newspapers from all over the house.  My distaste for this new obsession came to a boiling point when I found this little gem hanging out with the health and beauty products:

I feel it may have been slightly more effective for him to just clip a coupon for "No Sex"....  Anyways, I finally got over my annoyance with the couponing after we saved, like a million dollors (okay, like 20 dollars) on sunscreen before vacay.  I'm now starting to warm to the idea of this money saving thing, although we may have to have a "come to jesus talk" about the amount of feminine hygeine products he clips.  It's seriously starting to get weird.

So, back to this weekend and my little trip to Ulta, coupon book in hand.  I needed to get a few goodies, including my covergirl mascara which I was out of.  Well, wouldn't you know that CoverGirl products were buy one, get one 50% off, and somebody happened to have a $2.50 off CoverGirl coupon AND a $3.50 off Ulta coupon!  Well, hello cute new eyeliner I got for free...I'll make a nice little home for you in my make-up bag.  That combined with the deal I got on Matrix shampoo and conditioner meant I left there a happy little girl. 

With new shampoo and eyeliner in my beauty arsenal, I felt confident I could take over the world...or at least make it out to a bar or two Saturday evening.  So, I rounded up the girls and we made plans for an evening out.  Let me preface this by saying that we live in a college town and our only real options are college bars.  Ummm, let's just say that the gals and I are slightly past our college days to say the least, so I find bar-hopping these days to be a rather interesting experience.

For starters, at this age, the decision to go out needs to be made a good 6 to 10 hours before departure time to said bars.  Deciding what to wear can typically range from closet hopping to brand new outfit, and from hot pants to spanx these days as well.  Luckily we all managed to find something in our closets that would cover our wobbly bits and our self-doubt at the same time.  Lucky us.  The process of getting ready also involves several rounds of gossip as well as at least 1, maybe 2 glasses of wine (this is important because we need to be drunk enough to still want to go out by 11:00pm, but sober enough to not put on sweatpants and opt for a Lifetime movie instead).  It has become such a rare occurance to actually make it to the bars, that documentation is usually needed so as to prove that we actually do still have lives (and clean up well!) during moments where we bottom out on pathetic-ness (i.e., falling asleep at 9:00pm on a Saturday night).  This past weekend, since Miranda had the Porsche, said documentation came in the form of "car models"....umm, yeah, like in those stupid magazines. 

Ummm, yeah so that happened, and yes, that is Whitney straddling the Porsche logo.  What can I say, we are nothin' but class!

Anyways, after this display of ridiculousness, it was seriously time to get our bar hoppin' on.  First stop: over-crowded patio area with cash-only bar.  Ummm, scuse me?  I have only enough cash for covers...can I write you a check?  In addition to that, I find my tolerance for crowds to get lower and lower with every birthday that passes.  I need ma personal space please, and can you PLEASE blow your cigarette smoke away from me now?!?!  Anyways, we lasted at first bar right up until we needed to use the overcrowded bathroom which has only one stall.  Miranda made the executive decision that at 27, 28, and (almost) 29 years old respectively, it becomes socially acceptable to bypass the 10+ women in line for the women's restroom, and the 2 men in line in the men's bathroom, and walk right into the men's room (while 2 guys were standing with their junk out at the urinal) and claim one vacant stall in the men's room.  Well, that cleared the men out pretty quick, and to my satisfaction, there was a line of about 10+ guys waiting in line when we left.  (Oh come on...don't tell me all you ladies reading this don't take satisfaction in seeing men have to wait from time to time too...)

Our second stop along the way was much more bearable.  The lines were shorter and the bartender made my skinny girl margaritas just perfectly!  In addition, they had white wine, which they served in actual wine glasses....very strange.  Picture this...2 almost 30-year olds drinking wine at a dance club frequented by 20-year olds.  The irony of it all is that one glass of wine will do for one of us the same thing that 6 vodka cranberries used to do to us (young gals...that is what you have to look forward to).  Side note...how adorable are my friends?

I don't care if a 22-year old girl was being impregnated on the dance floor to 'lil Wayne only 10-ft away...we will have our wine and drink it too! 

Side note...why do boys think it's funny to take pictures like this when you hand them the camera...

and pictures like this when you have the camera....

Inappropriate.

So, needless to say, it was an eventful evening that was capped off by me feeling the need to pre-emptively consume 2 tylenol PM tablets to avoid a hangover.  Well headache averted, however, I only vaguely remember waking up for 45 minutes to make the boy breakfast before sending him off to work before getting back into bed and sleeping (and I mean a sleep-through-sirens, thunderstorms, marching bands-kind of sleep) until 1:00 in the afternoon.  Say what?!  What was I thinking?  Let's just say that among the things I learned this weekend included this little tid-bit...2 glasses of wine + 2 skinny girl margs + 2 tylenol PM = lazy unproductive sunday.

Okay, I say unproductive Sunday, but in actuality, I did make it to the grocery store and out for a run before returning to bed to watch 10 consecutive hours of the Harry Potter marathon to complete my Sunday.  I know you're jealous you're not me right now. 

Anyways, that was my long-winded, mind numbing, weekend recap.  Thanks for bearing through that post.  Have a fabulous week dear readers!

sparkler "pose-offs" & acoustic trauma

Happy 4th of July to all my sassy readers out there!  I have to say that the 4th of July is slowly becomming one of my favorite holidays, if for nothing else but the fact that it allows me an extra paid day off work.  This year it has been especially helpful in that it delays the inevitable email jail I will be in upon my return from vacation at least on more day.  Hallelujah!

I also love Independence day because it affords me the freedom to drink copious amounts of acohol with my girlfriends and try not to pee myself from laughing so hard at our sparkler pose off we had this weekend.  The boy loves 4th of July too because this year he had a little mishap with a sumo-sparkler that will allow him to play deaf for the next week everytime I ask him to put the toilet seat down in the bathroom (though I suspect he does this anyways)....but more on that later...

So our celebration started out with a little cookout and adult beverages at Miranda's house and ended with  me coaxing my Sawyer boy out from under the grill cover because he's not much of a fan of fireworks.  Poor boy.  Here he is when he was still speaking to me:

Anyways, no 4th of July would be complete without fireworks, so being patriotic like we are, we brought about $20 worth of sparklers, fireworks, and rocket sparklers to the party.  The fact that he got to light things on fire made the boy pretty happy....

As I said, the night started out innocently enough with some sparklers....

And then the boy got the party started with some things that pop and make pretty colors....

Look at how proud he is of his work!  At this point, one of Miranda's neighbors had come out to her driveway to express her displeasure at our firework show, by watching silently from her front porch.  I'm not all that sure what was so offensive about our show other than my constant reminders to the boy that I was not stuck with him and if he bent over the fireworks one more time while they were going off, I would come visit him and his mangled face in the hospital with my new boyfriend.  Besides, if she didn't like the show to this point, I doubt she cared much for our next display of drunkenness: The Rocket Sparkler Pose-Off.

I went first.

Then went Whitney....

Ahh....fire can be so much fun.  The boy tried to get festive and take a turn at the pose off with our last Rocket Sparkler, but as I we were readying ourselves for pictures and watching the fuse burn down to light the sparkler, something strange happened.  Instead of lighting off the sparkler, it caught and blew up....no really...it was a boom so loud, I got in bomb shelter position like it was the '40s or something. 

Once we all got up and stopped our stunned laughter, I thought it was appropriate to check on the boy and make sure he still had a face.  Turns out he does.  He also had some ringing in his ears that wouldn't go away either.  No worries though....he consulted his friend who has a doctorate in audiology and he said that he will probably have some ringing and hearing loss for a few days, but it would go away.  Besides, a little acoustic trauma never hurt anyone.

In closing, I leave you with these....happy 4th friends, strangers, and stalkers!  Hope you all have a safe, acoutic-trauma-free holiday!

 

These are my confessions...

....just when I said all I thought I could say, my chick on the side says she got one on the way....

Haha, so now that we got that out of the way, I want to try something new...Friday Confessional.  I'll try to keep it PG for all those readers that scare easily...lol.

I Confess...that for one night at dinner this week, I had Asparagus, Skinny Girl Margaritas, and marsh mellows.  Sad but true.

I Confess....that I had that weird "asparagus pee" smell going on for about 24 hours after said dinner....

I Confess....that every time I stumble upon "Secret Life of the American Teenager" I agree that it is by far the stupidest show I have ever seen and then immediately watch 2-3 episodes back to back.  (Side note...WTF is up with this show?  Have things changed THAT MUCH since I was a teenager and this really is the secret life of the american teenager?  Holy crap, please say no....)

I Confess....that at one point this week I told my boyfriend to quit kissing me because it was distracting me from eating chocolate...

I Confess....that sometimes I think of dumping my boyfriend for chocolate.  Or ice cream.  Or Cake.  Or cupcakes.  Definitely cupcakes.

I Confess....that I miss my girlfriends....and I don't see them nearly enough.....:-(

I Confess....that I feel confident that I need a Pimp Cup (if you don't know what a Pimp Cup is....check out Miss PinkLouLou's bloggy) for everything in my everyday life...including a teeth brushing, bill paying, gym time, sexy time, sleepy time, etc., etc., etc., pimp cup...

I Confess....that I would still really like to find a summer pool membership (or a friend to mooch their pool for the summer)...preferably one where alcoholism is encouraged, and there are little to no small children running around doing cannonballs....

I Confess...that as I write this here bloggy on my back patio, the kids are doing this...

....waiting for me to love on them....

I Confess....that I wish I had a fenced in yard so the kids to come play with me while I write my bloggy :-(

I Confess...that I may or may not still be sweating out white trash margaritas from the lake this past weekend...

I Confess....that I'm not above shameless self-promotion....

I Confess....that I need more bloggy followers and twitter followers....(@TarynLeighLo).....

I Confess....that I HATE my guy's new hours at work.  Barf.

I Confess....that I wish my legs looked like this....

I Confess....that I can't have a Friday Confessional without leaving you with this....

Oh, and also, I Confess....that Usher's abs are two scoops of yum....

So, there you have it....my PG confessions for the week...happy Friday friends and bloggers!



April showers can kiss my ass....and other recent gripes...

Well, it's been a while...a long while.  My first excuse would be my vacation...my second excuse doesn't exist.  Sorry.  That said, this blog is merely to update you on the last week of my life and my latest gripes.  I warn you....here be bitching...leave now if you don't like "whiners".

Have you ever heard the expression "I need a vacation from my vacation"??  Well, that would be me this week.  We got back from Georgia on Monday, and frankly I should have taken Tuesday off.  For realz.  I can't really say that I had any major work crisis on Tuesday other than a barrage of emails and customer issues.  While I do love my job, I find my biggest gripe is when customers don't listen to the simple instructions I give them....it's not hard.  Do what I tell you....exactly what I tell you...and you won't have issues with your account that I will need to fix.  Sounds easy, right?  One would think, but that is rarely the case.  Without getting into the details, let's just say, Tuesday was a beast.  I vividly remember sitting in my car on my lunch break on Tuesday, exhausted already, trying to decide whether to cry or buy up all the chocolate in the Speedway across the street.  I went for a bag of the jumbo "shareable" size peanut m&ms and went back to work.  Let's just say I shared the first half of the bag with my thighs and the second half with my ass.  500 calories later.....I felt both comfort and misery (at the thought of the extra time I would need to put in at the gym).  Oh well. 

There was light at the end of the work-week tunnel though.  All week I was looking forward the the weekend because my family and I had our annual Keeneland day planned.  This year is kind of a big deal because Keith has never been to Keeneland (I know, right??).  So after 5 years in Lexington, I was planning on introducing him to one of the only fun things to do in this city.  Typically, my family does it up pretty big...we tailgate, we drink, we eat, we socialize, we play cornhole, we bet, we lose money, we eat some more.  It's pretty f'ing awesome.  Plus, it's pretty much the only time I can get my family to visit me in Lexington.  So the plan was for everyone to stay at my place Friday night, Keeneland bright and early Saturday, and I had made dinner reservations for Saturday night.  Keith and I spent all evening Wednesday after work and the gym cleaning the carpets, washing sheets, and getting the guest room ready.  Thursday night I tackled the bathrooms and the kitchen.  Friday I had a pre-planned half day at work so I could get everything spotless (well as spotless as I can get things) and ready for guests. 

Well, the best laid plans typically go to shit and this time was no different.  Mom called me Friday on my way to work to inform me that there was 80% chance of rain on Saturday and Dad was trying to find out if we could get tickets to the clubhouse.  Dad called me 30 minutes later to tell me that we could not get tickets to the clubhouse.  He also let me know that he called Brynn and Lukus (sister and brother-in-law) to let them know the recent developments as they might not want to make the drive to Lexington if it's going to rain.  I'm not going to lie, I was pretty mad at this point.  For months we had been planning this day at Keeneland and I had made it VERY clear to everyone that it was important to me that everyone be there.  Keith doesn't typically get weekends off so he had to take vacation days in order to go.  Well, I guess everyone in the family decided that even though it was important to me to still make the trip, it was more important to them to not get wet (even though there are many indoor areas at the racetrack).  So, no one came.  The good news in all of this, however is that I was able to return the $120 dress I bought specifically for the outing.  I plan on using it to fund the therapy I'll need for yet another "middle-child" disaster.  This fund has slowly been growing since middle school...;-)

All was not lost though....Keith and I still went to Keeneland on Saturday with my best gal pal Whitney, and had a blast.  The rain stopped at about 9:00am and didn't start up again until 8:00pm on Saturday, so we had a nice, dry, and at some points, sunny day at Keeneland.  Whitney even won $150 on a $6 bet...so tough shit to everyone who missed out!  We even got to meet, the f'ing Easter Bunny.  Ha!

Okay, so now that I have gotten that rant out of the way, I have to ask....what the hell is up with the rain and storms...for serious...what is up with that?  I know it's April and these showers are supposed to bring some May flowers, but damn....where are these flippin' tulips already?!?!  So far April showers have gotten me the following:  a broken outdoor patio umbrella, a wet dog (and accompanying "wet dog" smell in my house), muddy entry way floors, about 20 bad hair days, that squishy "foot in a wet sandal" feeling when walking through a rainy parking lot, and of course locked in the Fayette mall during a tornado warning....but what it has NOT gotten me is any flippin' flowers...not even one!  So I appeal to you mother nature (more like mother f**ker at this point)...enough with the rain.  I promise we get it.

Aside from Keeneland, this weekend was also Easter.  Since Keith had requested the whole weekend off for Keeneland, we decided to take advantage and go to the Easter service at Southland.  I have been to this Easter service for the past 2 or 3 years, so I immediately suggested it for Sunday morning.  Keith hadn't been to this church before, but agreed to go, and I agreed to check out Quest (the church Keith sometimes goes to) sometime in the future.  The service was great, and the message as well if I do say so myself.  As we were walking back to the car, I asked Keith what he thought of the service.  His response??  "Well, it was good, but I feel like Quest has better graphics."  I felt tempted to agree with him in this...while I have not been to a service at Quest before, I do remember something in the bible stating that if Jesus had put together a power point with some nice graphics or a better edited video on the importance of his life, he may not have been crucified.  After all, good graphics is one of the 10 Commandments, right?  Oh geez...I say this in good fun.  If ever it came into question whether males are visual creatures, I believe that statement proves it.  God love him. 

The final coup de grace in my fabulous, yet un-fabulous weekend was discovering last night that I am allergic to band-aids.  Yeah, for real.  Ironically enough, Keith has also developed an allergy to putting dishes in the dishwasher.  The good news for him though is that while my allergy results in puss-filled blisters on my skin, his allergy merely results in an annoyed girlfriend.  Oh well....live and learn.

There were a couple small highlights to my week....I can't let you think it was all bad.  They include: buying Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 on dvd (though slightly less awesome after discovering the brother ordered it on On Demand on my tv while dog-sitting), and second (and best of all) discovering an $18 bottle of Pinot Grigio on the menu at The Pub.  Whit and me made short work of that!

I leave you with one final photo....even though dishes in the dishwasher aren't his thing, I still find him useful around the house...and I didn't even have to ASK for him to do this..... :-)