Are we there yet?

I feel like I'm 13 again...legitimately.  As I type this, I am sitting in the backseat of a rental min-van driving to Texas with my parents, my little sister, and my nephew.  I keep resisting the urge to yell..."When do we get to the beach?!?" just for nostalgia sake.  It's been a long time since I rode 12 hours anywhere with my family...




While I am excited about Thanksgiving, the last couple days have been somewhat exhausting and stressful.  We left Kentucky yesterday and drove 6 hours to Memphis, stayed the night, and are completing the last 6 hour leg of the trip to Gilmer, TX as we speak.  It's been an adventure to say the least! 

I woke up yesterday knowing I had a long day ahead of me.  I took a vacation day yesterday, but that didn't stop me from getting up at 7:00am and working until about 10:30am when I finally slammed my hands down on my laptop, silently told it to f**k off and slammed the door to the bedroom for good measure.  Needless to say, I was having some issues with my work computer, and trying to put out last minute fires before I left for Texas.  Not to mention I still hadn't packed, and had 3 loads of laundry to do before I could pack.  Whew...aren't the holidays grand?!?  Anyways, I finally made it out the door after giving the boy a goodbye kiss (he couldn't come with us to Texas because of work) and off to Louisville to meet up with the family and pick up the rental van.  Ummm....has anyone else rented a car lately?  Let me tell you, it ain't fun!

The rental was in my name because we get a corporate discount at Enterprise through work.  So at around 3:00, I went with my dad to pick up the rental at the Enterprise on Westport Rd.  Let me paint you a little picture....it's dirty and gross in there, and the employees look disheveled and miserable (not that I blame them).  My Dad had planned to pay for the rental, but since it was in my name, I needed to go as well.  Long story short, he couldn't pay for the rental because it was in my name...whatever....so I hand over my debit card and tell them to just put it on my debit card.  Sounds easy, right?  Wrong.  The conversation went a little like this:

Me: Here, put it on my debit card.
Bitchy rental agent #1(BRA#1): Umm, okay in order to put it on your debit card, we need to see 2 copies of up to date utility bills.
Me: Excuse me?
BRA#1: It's our policy.
Me: Umm, I have some mail with me, but I don't know if it will work. 
BRA#1: Well, if you have online access to your accounts, you can just print them out on our computer.  Or a pay stub would work too.
Me: Why would I have a pay stub with me?  Here...I have a statement for my car loan and the mortgage on my house.  Those are current.  Would those work?
BRA#1: No.  It has to be a utility or phone bill.
Me: I have my bank statements that show money in my account...can you use those?
BRA#1: No.  We can use your cable bill, gas bill, electric bill, phone bill, water bill or pay stub.
Me: Okay, well I just moved.  I can probably get my electric bill pulled up online, but my Insight account is closed, and I don't have online access to my water bill.  Everything at the new place is in my fiance's name. 
Bitchy Rental Agent #2: The problem with a debit card is that you could give us that and close your bank account.  People steal cars like that.  So we have to have some way to verify that you make payments and are in good standing.
Me: And my mortgage payments, car payments, and bank statements won't accomplish that?
BRA#2: No.  I mean, we are already bending the rules for you by allowing you to put it on a debit card, but we can't break them for you....
Me: I don't understand....I've never had a problem renting a car before when I travel for work.  I've never had to bring utility bills. 
BRA#2: Well, what did you use to rent the car then?
Me: My corporate credit card. 
BRA#2: Well, why don't you put it on your corporate card?
Me: Because I'm making a personal non-work related trip for the holidays.
BRA#2: What about a cell phone bill (looks the the phone in my hands).
Me: This is a corporate cell phone.  I don't pay the bill.
BRA#2: Must be nice.

Anywho....after an hour at the Enterprise rental shack, I was finally able to produce enough evidence that showed I am a decent human being and won't be running off with the lovely Dodge Caravan we were renting.  The best part about the whole experience was the ridiculous and continuous stream of babbling from Bitchy Rental Agent #2 about the difference between bending rules and breaking rules.  Umm...thanks B, I got it.  I also love it when they try and pass it off like this has been their policy since the dawn of time.  Umm, no it hasn't.  I rented a car through them 2 years ago with my debit card, and did not need to give a urine sample or sign over my first born.  Nice try though...

So, rental drama aside, we finally made it out of Louisville around 4:30 yesterday.  I would have been more joyous, except as soon as I crawled into the back of the van, I remembered how horrific family road trips are, especially with my family.  There was nothing left to do but hunker down and pray for daylight...or vodka.  We were on the road all of 15 minutes before someone put on Mary Poppins in the portable DVD player, which luckily for us was in surround sound (and by surround sound, I mean my mother singing along to Spoon Full of Sugar and Supercalafredulisticexpialidocious).  Luckily she fell asleep before we were graced with her rendition of "Chim, Chiminey Chim Chim Cheroo", but she woke up just in time to hear everyone argue about where we were stopping to eat and to repeately chant "Mama's gots to pee!" until we finally stopped at a Panera Bread in I'm-in-hell, TN. 

Next up was "That awkward moment when you get to Memphis and you're sharing a hotel room with your parents and sleeping in a double bed with your 16 year old sister".  At 27, I thought those days were over, but sadly, they are not.  Good thing I was so damn tired it didn't matter...I quickly fell asleep and was delighted to wake up and find no bruises on my legs from sleeping with "The Sleep Kicker" (aka, my little sister). 

Now we trudge on...we are just over 3 hours into todays trip and have already stopped twice for various family members to go to the bathroon.  We have also made it all the way through one of the Harry Potter movies and have moved on to Finding Nemo...it was a strategic move not going with a musical this time.  I might have thrown myself out the window. 

The good news is that there is light at the end of the tunnel....in a few hours we will be in Texas and joing my sister and her husband, my cousins, grandma and grandpa, and aunts and uncles, and hopefully a bottle of pinot grigio as well.  Our actual Thanksgiving won't take place until Friday though...my uncle got all the men tickets to Texas vs. Texas A&M football game on Thanksgiving day and they will be traveling and tailgating for that all day tomorrow.  No matter though...good things come to those who wait.  And be good things, I mean Cranberry Fluff (aka the best thing you'll ever put in your mouth).  It is far and away my favorite t-giving dish and maybe one of my favorite foods, period.  I'll try and post the recipe and some pictures too.  It's freakin' divine. 

So that's pretty much been the last 24 hours of my life.  I am anxious to get there and start of the holidays with my family, though it will be bittersweet since my sweet boy won't be there.  I can't wait to get home and put up our first Christmas tree together!

 I'm curious how some of my readers are spending the holidays...What is your favorite/least favorite things about Thanksgiving?  What is the one Thanksgiving food you look forward to all year??

Catching Up...and it's random...

Not much new with me kiddos...other than the usual that is: crazy busy at work, crazy busy with house projects, and just plain bizz-ay.  Ya digg?  Anyways, in an effort to bore you senseless, how about a 'lil recap of my fabulous life?  Okay great!

Thursday:
Since Thursday was the official kick-off of the NFL, I, being the gracious and thoughtful gal that I am, decided it would only be right to make a big pot of chili for the boy and the brother.  It was healthy chili, of course.  I substitute the ground beef for ground turkey and load it up with tons of veggies too.  Don't worry, it's still delicious...

The finished product! Email me if you want my chili recipe :)



Of course, after dinner, I packaged up the leftovers and sent them with the boy to work for the next couple days.  I got follow up texts both Friday and Saturday once again reminding me that my chili was delicious...not to mention the text I got on Friday from the boy to the effect of "Hey I have hot dogs at work, and your chili!  Chili dogs!"....so much for a healthy meal. 

Friday:
All I remember about Friday was that work was cray-cray.  I hit my wall around 3:30pm, which is right about the time I lost my mind and tried to send this word in an email...

....thank you spell check.  And thank you more to Fridays at 5:00pm...I love you. 

I had planned to spend some quality time with this cute guy on Friday...

...but he had to stay late at work with a customer....Oh the joys of retail!  He literally got to my place around 10:00...an hour later than expected and just enough time for my to give him a kiss before I turned into a pumpkin and had to go to sleep.  Boo :-(

Saturday:
Ugh...don't be jealous of me, but on Saturday, I got to go paint the bathroom at the boy's house while he was at work.  The guest bath was this horrible Scorsese red that I tried to avoid when I was at his house, partly because he never cleans it, but mostly because it's the kind of red that gives you nightmares...yeah, like the shower scene in psycho nightmares....true story.  So, in an effort to keep the housing projects moving, I have to take care of some of the things while he's at work since we rarely have days off together. 

Let me tell ya, because I had both mine and his dog at the house during my de-nightmaring of the bathroom, I had to paint with the door closed.  Umm, pretty sure I sweat more during the hour and a half I was in that tiny bathroom than I did during the 10 miles I did on the bike earlier that day.  No really, the mirror completely fogged up...I kid you not. 

After the painting was finally over, I worked on cleaning the boys house...I will spare you the details of that disaster, but let's just say, a discussion has been had about cleanliness, and that was that.  I will say, in his defense, we don't spend a whole lot of time at his place right now since mine is closer to both our offices, and to pretty much everything else we would want to do.  So he doesn't get much of an opportunity to do many household chores (since he's busy doing them at mine)...

By the way, in case I haven't mentioned it......I HATE PAINTING.  Just had to get that off my chest.  We've so far painted the kitchen, living room, master bedroom, master bathroom, hallway and entryway, and now the guest bathroom.  Ugh...and next up is the guest bedroom.  Pray for me. 

See what I mean?? Ruin my mani, why don't ya...

Saturday night was our first date night in about a thousand years...seriously.  I cannot remember the last time K and me went somewhere, just the two of us, other than the gym or the grocery store (that doesn't count).  Since he got off work at a reasonable hour on Saturday and I was ready for a glass or wine or ten, we hit up one of our new favorite little tapas restaurants and wine bar in Nicholasville.  Yeah, there is actually a tapas restaurant in Nicholasville...I am as surprised as you are.  Since we like it so much, I feel confident that it will close as soon as I move to Nicholasville...so in the spirit of enjoying good things while they last, we had a lovely dinner together.  Lucky for us, there was some kind of fall festival happening in downtown Nicholasville, so along with my wine and cheese platter, I got to enjoy a lovely view of the passersby.  Pretty sure I counted no fewer than 50 men in wife beaters and at least half a dozen toddlers carrying around bottles filled with Mountain Dew, but everyone seemed to be in good spirits, including myself. 

Unfortunately, as dinner was coming to an end, I got an excruciating headache (you know, the ones that just linger right behind your eyes...) and we had to go home and veg out after that.  We ordered "Something Borrowed" on demand...ummm, wow.  Pretty sure even if I hadn't read the book, I would still think the movie stunk.  It really was a toss us between what was more painful...my headache, or the horrific movie adaptation of what was a delightful beach read.  And can we talk about Kate Hudson?  When did she stop being adorable???

Sunday:
I can't say much about my Sunday.  For the first time in at least a month, I allowed myself to just relax.  Okay, I say that, but by relax, I mean lay in bed and watch 9/11 specials all day and cry every time the State Farm commercial came on with the kids singing to Jay-Z.  Promise.  I did manage to make it to the grocery to at one point, and more importantly, paint my toenails before finally making it out of my bed cocoon and join the normal world for dinner. 

Monday:
Work....and lots of it.  I barely had time to eat my Chobani today I was so busy.  It was a total Monday.  After work I sweat it out with my co-worker and friend, Hilary, at the gym and headed home for dinner.  The boy and me came up with a to-do list of things we need to get done this week before we install the new flooring we bought for his house this weekend.  The to-do lists NEVER end.  After that, I sat down on that couch and enjoyed my puppy dog (okay, I get that at 110 lbs. he is not a puppy, but whatev...).  Turns out Sawyer had a busy day too.  After sleeping on my couch (which he's not allowed on, kinda) for 9 consecutive hours, he ate dinner, went potty and proceeded to take turns waiting for K and me to drop pieces of our dinner on the floor and barking at the front door for an hour.  After chewing on his bone and eating a dryer sheet, he was pretty much spent and decided he needed a 'lil nap.

Anyways, that's pretty much been my life for the past few days.  What have my dear readers been up to??

I need an intervention!

Okay folks, time for an intervention.  Like, for serious. 

First off, I know you're probably all thinking that I need an intervention for being a bad blogger.  No arguments there.  I feel like I haven't had five minutes to myself the last week to sit and read any blogs, let alone write any coherent thoughts.  Sorry.  I'll do better....I think....I hope.  I really hope.

Bad blogging aside, I fully expect to come home anytime to an intervention banner for any of the following reasons:

ONE

Skittles!  Why are they so good?  Yet sooooo bad?!?!  The boy's original proposal idea involved skittles which means that we had 2 jumbo size bags at my house just begging me to eat them until I overdose on the rainbow.  No seriously, I'm pretty sure I hear them talking to me from the cabinet they are in....you know, that little whisper, "Taste the rainbow, Taryn.  You know you want to."  And I do want to.  And I have tasted the rainbow and tasted it some more....and guess what: The rainbow is making me fat.  And it's giving me cavities, I'm sure.  The first bag is gone.  The second one will be soon enough.  The boy tried to help by hiding them.  It nearly ended our engagement.  I may be beyond help.

TWO

(Please don't judge me too harshly for this one...)

This is what my toenails look like right now.  I need a pedicure intervention.  I realize that it is summer and the fact that I have continued to wear sandals with my tootsies looking like this is nothing short of repulsive.  I literally have not had time.  I know...feel free to take away my "girl card" for this one.  I deserve it.  Or you can stage an intervention for me and send me a gift card to any number of credible lexington salons where I can rectify my toe skank.  And yes....that is a missing toe-nail on my right foot.  It happens about once a year from running.  Say it with me now...."Cry for help". 

THREE

I swear my life feels like a Cathy comic strip right now.  I feel stress about everything, especially making the "big" wedding decisions...venue, caterer, dress, honeymoon, rentals, bridesmaid dresses, etc.  The decorations and details will come later.  Right now I do not care about that.  I cannot tell you how not fun the whole looking for a venue thing was...there were no dates available anywhere it seems.  Ugh!  Now that we have that figured out, the dress is next up on the list...too bad me, my mom, and my sister cannot find a coordinating weekend in any of our schedules to dress shop for almost 2 months!  I'm not a particularly sappy or sentimental person, but dress shopping with them is one thing I don't want to forgo.  They know my style better than anyone, and I don't want to make the decision alone.  I am a very decisive person, so I know I won't have trouble making the decisions once I see my options, but who has the time to see the options???!!!  Not this girl.  Not at all.  I'm worried this may be me pretty soon:



Ugh...let's just call Gabe at the Steak Pit.

So, all things considered, I suppose my life can be summed up pretty easily: bad blogger, skittles, skittles, skittles, need a pedicure, no time for anything, Gabe at the Steak Pit. 

I promise I'll return to normal soon.  Maybe. 

Everything I know, I learned from Cher Horowitz...

 I think Clueless might be the Holy Grail of teenage girl movies.  I weep for young girls growing up now who don't have the luxury of popping this bad boy into the VHS player and learning valuable life lessons from Cher Horowitz.  When I really think about growing up and my teenage years, I have to admit, Cher taught me a lot....not just about fashion (duh)...

...but she also taught me some valuable lessons on politics.  I mean, who can forget about this little gem...

"So like, right now for example. The Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, "What about the strain on our resources?" Well it's like when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. 'cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was like totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier. And so if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. Thank you very much."

Well said Cher.  You were definitely on to something there.  I would totally party with the Hatians (thats "Hate-ee-ans", NOT "Hay-shens").  I'm pretty sure she had some wise words about violence on TV as well...words to live by.

Need a driver's license?  One needn't bother with Driver's Ed.  Cher, Dionne, and Murray can teach you more about safe driving in 2 minutes than anyone at the DMV ever could.  Promise.




Want to find a good man?  Cher knows how...

"Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex."

"Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good."

 Oh, and don't worry, Cher always knew what to do once you landed that hot date...her advice:

 “He said he’d come over with some video tapes and we’d watch them. A night alone with Christian! I sent for reinforcements. Then, Dee and I had to design a lighting concept, and costume decisions. I don’t rely on mirrors, so I always take polaroids. Whenever a boy comes, you should always have something baking.”

And sometimes, growing up, I found myself in a crisis situation.  I always turned to Cher.  Not only does she stay cool in a crisis, but she looks great doing it.  Take the below for example, where Cher keeps it cool, while held at gunpoint.

Cher: "Oh no...you don't understand.  This is an Alaia (referring to her dress)."

Robber: "An a-what-a??"

Cher: "It's like, a totally important designer."

Robber: "And I will totally shoot you in the head.  Get down!"

 I also recall many a book report in high school where Cher always came to my rescue.  I mean, after a while, everything by Bill Shakespeare starts to run together....thank goodness for Clueless, lest I lose my straight A average...

Heather: "It's just like Hamlet said, 'To thine own self be true'"

Cher: "Umm, Hamlet didn't say that..."

Heather: "I think I remember Hamlet accurately."

Cher: "Well, I remember Mel Gibson acurately, and he didn't say that.  That Polonius guy did."

...and of course....

"It's like that book I read in 9th grade that said, 'Tis a far, far better thing doing stuff for other people'..."

Let's also not forget that it was Cher who taught us all the proper etiquette at social gatherings...

"Let's  do a lap before we commit to a location."

I think me and Cher could totally be BFF, not only is she two scoops of adorable, but she helped me with life lessons I can still use today...just ask Whitney.  She and I pulled up to fall meet at Keeneland a few years ago when it was raining and said to the men in the green jackets, "Like, ummm....where's valet?"  What else were we to do in that situation but ask ourselves, WWCHD? (What would Cher Horowitz do?).

Anyways, thanks for letting me relive valuable Clueless lessons today from one Miss Cher Horowitz.  I'll be seein' ya...I hope not sporadically.